a conspiracy of cartographers

Wow, I had a weird and vivid dream last night. First I was Merlin -- the boy wizard, not the awesome old man -- and I was swimming across a lake along with Arthur and Uther (?!); on the other side I met Morgause in a public washroom, and she tried to convince me that Uther must die. But I'd seen that episode many, many times, so I went off and discovered that Kolya was trying to take over Atlantis, as he often does. Obviously at this point I stopped being Merlin and became John Sheppard; then me and Kolya had close hand-to-hand combat with knives! I got stabbed in the side, which hurt like hell but did not much bother me because I was John Sheppard, so instead I stabbed Kolya in the hand. [My friend down the hall, upon hearing a recount of this dream: "There were knives, and you got stabbed in the side?" Me, knowing where this was going: "I was Sheppard at the time! It meant homoeroticism, not pregnancy." My friend, in delight: "That's a sentence that should be said all the time."] Anyway, Kolya called a forty-minute break to regroup, and I went downstairs to the dining deck of the cruise ship because I'd gotten turned around; really I was trying to find Ursula K Le Guin, because she was running the convention and had bandages (???). I knew that if I went back upstairs to fight Kolya again, I was absolutely going to die, but I'd be saving everyone in the process, so that was all right. Also, by the time I made this determination I ... may have been Fraser, because apparently I ascribe them similar worrying motivations. Then I started drifting awake, and was deeply annoyed because I still wanted to die and save the world! What is this even.

Perhaps relatedly, some results from yesterday's poll:

John Sheppard & Ray Kowalski: 8
John Sheppard & Benton Fraser: 7
Rodney McKay & Benton Fraser: 6
Rodney McKay & Ray Kowalski: 5

I am not able to make any exciting sweeping conclusions (nor would I even if the numbers were much more skewed, because this is a skientific poll, not a scientific one); the only one I will venture to draw is that wow, we as a fandom must really love experimental hair. Also, despite being a John girl myself, I'm sad that there's not more Rodney love. I'm pleased to see that it's horrendously difficult to choose between Fraser and Ray, though.

Now enough of this nonsense.

Things I should be worrying about:
+ learning Spanish verb conjugations
+ writing this week's scene of play
+ not stabbing myself in the face with a pencil from frustration whilst I do perspective drawings
+ making a serious list of professors I want to ask for grad school recommendations

Things I am actually worrying about:
+ whether killing Fraser in order to write Ray/Ray is an exercise in the I Killed The Threat To My Pairing cliché if [a] Fraser is a ghost and still one of the main characters in the fic and [b] Fraser is in all ways imaginable not a threat to my pairing because my pairing is usually Fraser/Kowalski and sometimes Vecchio can come too
+ whether I'll have to break up with Flashpoint, courtesy of [SPOILER]; I have not yet seen the new episode, so maybe breakup is not eminent, but I am Quite Displeased, not least because I've only been casually dating Flashpoint for a few months now and this seems needlessly cruel
+ how hard I will have to avoid the impending shipping wars in Merlin fandom, because I think Merlin is not quite magical enough to skip the shipping wars

Speaking of, quick thoughts on yesterday's Merlin. ( 2x02, Gwen and Tournaments and Leeches, Oh My! )

Even I don't care how amazing my academic life is right now (and anyway I'm trying to write my polybigbang instead of doing ... any homework) so instead I offer up a list of fannishly awesome things:

i. NEW MERLIN TRAILER. I am delighted by the recurring characters, and I am delighted by this year's picks & chooses of the canon (ship wars? OT4! Lancelot can come too) and I have to confess that I am pretty sure that Gaius is not going to die this season no matter how much they doom about it. I am tempted to do a very quick rewatch of s1 before it starts airing.

ii. NEW HUGH DILLON MUSIC. I am ridiculously spoiled, because I have only just started having that "I've listened to every single one of his songs enough and now I need new material" feeling, and now there's new material! I am really hoping that iTunes will have it, because I actually want to spend money on the music but I am not sure if Canada will in fact let me.

iii. I watched Hard Core Logo with feverbeats today, which was ten kinds of wonderful, mostly because I have never seen it with someone and Scott was the best audience ever. He made OTP noises at all the appropriate places, flailed at the Young at Heart conversation, demanded a replay of Billy's "touch my stump," and more or less clutched my hand numb during the last ten minutes. I don't know if he actually liked it, but then I don't know if he knows either, and in any case I am full of happiness and we yelled at each other about how Joe and Billy are horrible people, so all is right in the world.

iv. A ridiculously adorable picture of Fraser & Vecchio. Why am I linking this? I don't know. Maybe because they are not horrible people! Also if I stare at them long enough maybe I will be able to write the F/K/V oh godddd.