a way to get up from down
The Top Five meme, answers edition!
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bakatulip: Top 5 fictional couples you wanna have a threesome with.
1. Fraser & Kowalski, like anyone is surprised. In fact, I would not just stop at a threesome. I would absolutely also move in with them. They'd be the most awesome and probably deeply aggravating boyfriends in the universe.
2. Sam & Kara, mostly because I'd really love to sleep with Kara, and if she comes as a set, Sam Anders is definitely a cutie. I would not sleep with Lee (even though he becomes mildly attractive to me when he talks about Justice), and because I like at least pretending to be sane and also CKR should not be in all of my answers I'll ... no, that's a lie, I'd happily have a threesome with Kara and Sam but I would just as happily switch Sam up for Leoben.
3. Ten & Martha; I know they are not really a couple, but I'm going to pretend that either the couple clause is optional or that canon is optional. Actually I'd have this secret ulterior motivation of trying to get them to hook up with each other, but really they're just both fabulous, and then after Ten goes off to have angst somewhere, Martha can be my girlfriend. (And look, I didn't say I'd sleep with the Master! This is a step in the right direction even though I copped to Leoben, right?)
4. Gwen & Morgana because -- my crushes on Gwen and Morgana in Merlin cannot actually be quantified. Also I have this conviction that they'd actually be lots better in bed than either Arthur or Merlin, and whereas both Arthur and Merlin would be awkward and say stupid things afterwards, Gwen would probably be solicitous and bring us breakfast in bed and Morgana would look gorgeous first thing in the morning. I'd probably move in with them if Fraser and Kowalski were unavailable.
5. Wash & Zoe, although honestly mostly Zoe. I mean, I love Wash and I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but no, Wash, I have not been with a warrior woman and this saddens me.
Fromfeverbeats: Top five really fucking gay moments from any show you're fond of.
1. My very favourite is still the Doctor/Master phonesex call scene from The Sound of Drums. The first time I saw it I was actually clutching at my own arms and making noises of delighted disbelief.
2. "Breathing kinda hard there," Kowalski says smirkingly to Fraser over the phone in Call of the Wild. The obvious really gay moment from due South is the buddy breathing, but I don't love it even a fraction as much as I love reaching the above scene and being hit with the sudden conviction that they were absolutely sleeping together. (These moments are both phone calls. Perhaps there is a pattern here.)
3. It's not a show and it's not a moment, but pretty much all of Hard Core Logo. It is one big really fucking gay moment. (For instance, I'd already noticed that they spend the entire film indiscriminately swapping hats, but only when I have the two screencaps side-by-side do I notice that they also do that with sunglasses.) And just. Look at how Joe's leaning into Billy ALL THE TIME. *flaily hands*
4. My roots as a teenage lesbian are showing, but Xena and Gabrielle's kiss in The Quest. I was about fourteen at the time, and I don't know if I've seen that episode more than once or twice, but it's stuck with me because I was an adorable little teenage lesbian before I even realized it. Xena has died and is possessing Autolycus' body; Xena and Gabrielle only kiss on the astral plane and in the real world it's Autolycus who's kissing Gabrielle, which still doesn't actually give the show any plausible deniability as far as the Xena/Gabrielle goes, FFS. Now I really want to see this show again because I can't stop laughing.
5. Rodney and Carson's kiss in Duet. Duet remains one of my favourite SGA episodes, because it gives me the same kind of delighted not-headache that, say, Twelfth Night does. Cadman's sharing a body with Rodney and is in charge for large portions of the action, so when Rodney's body makes out with Katie, how gay is that? Cadman's still in the driver's seat when Rodney kisses Carson, so how gay is that? John Sheppard in his hilarious reaction shot certainly doesn't know! Man, now I want to rewatch some SGA too.
Honorable mention: to all of Willow and Tara's magical lesbian sex; they only get an honorable mention because, despite that for the most part they are having ~metaphorical~ sex or really chaste cute onscreen kisses, they're still Definitely Canon. Whereas most of my favourite moments sort of flirt with canon without actually making any commitments.
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kinglets: Top 5 things you would change about the Harry Potter books.
1. Remus/Tonks. I don't necessarily think that Remus/Tonks shouldn't've happened, my own shipping preferences notwithstanding; the way that it was done skeeved the hell out of me. I would have had Remus and Tonks interact meaningfully in OotP. I would have had Tonks bring up the fact that she wanted to be with Remus at some point that was not when Remus was cornered in the hospital wing surrounded by people including a man who had just been savaged by Greyback. I would have, in DH, had Remus visibly worried about his incipient family and torn between various duties, while meanwhile Tonks was actually cognizant of Remus' worries and not obliviously glowing with happiness stage left. It could have been done right.
2. The various redemptions in Deathly Hallows. This is part of my larger "the entire Marauder generation was treated shamefully in DH" problem, but specifically: Wormtail. Wormtail needed some bigger redemption than a single moment of hesitation; it was anticlimactic and wrecked havoc on the whole redemption theme JKR had earlier established. And Snape! I have not quite figured out what to do with Snape, but I think nearly anything is better than the pat "he was in love with Lily all along" answer. I'd have loved to see real complexities dealing with Snape playing both sides, and having nagging feelings about owing James something, and feeling real loyalty specifically to Dumbledore, without it having a pat and clichéd answer. I also wish JKR had done more with Draco, but what she did with Narcissa more or less makes up for it.
3. The epilogue. Really I would have just left it out entirely, but if it had to be there, I'd like to hear what everyone was actually up to. I understand that the point was to show Harry finally having a normal happy family, but the epilogue actively freaked me out, because what it showed was that, a decade or so post-Voldemort, everything is exactly the same. The Slytherins are the same old nasty Slytherins. Has there been magical creature reform? Who cares! And hey, Ron still acts like he's about seventeen. Good times.
4. Kreacher, an issue that is related to both #2 and #3. The fact that Kreacher only needed Harry to be nice to him and he became the nicest fluffiest most accommodating house elf ever is Not Cool. To begin with, I'm glad that Hermione convinced Harry and Ron to be nice to him -- except that Harry and Ron have always been pretty nice to house elves, and Harry had a damn good reason to not treat Kreacher right. Potentially it's good that Harry came to understand Kreacher's side of his betrayal of Sirius to the Malfoys, except the moral of that story is not "Harry learns forgiveness and empathy, and good things result;" rather it's "Harry learns that Kreacher was only doing as a house elf should, and now that Harry is treating Kreacher as a kind master treats his house elf, good things result." So we have a really different moral about house elves in general than the earlier books set up -- what do you know, Dobby really is nuts and Hermione really was misguided about the house elves' situation being slavery! -- and we've also learned that Sirius probably got what he deserved. After all, if he'd just been nice to Kreacher, he might not have died! This so wildly misses the point that ... well, that I paragraph about it excessively.
5. Speaking of, Sirius' death! I get it, he died. JKR might've just hit him with the Killing Curse, or more properly explained the Veil, because as is, I spent all of HBP waiting for Sirius to reappear. When a rule of the Harry Potter universe is "There's no death without a body," respect the damn rule.
...I have more, but those are the five I get most worked up about. Honorable mention goes to my bewilderment with how Ron/Hermione was handled in the last two books.
Fromgehayi: You have been given the power to make five things canon in five different fandoms. Which canons do you change, and what do you change in them?
1. Harry Potter: Probably just all the things I listed above. I'd just do wildly different things with the last two books, really; thematically for both of them, and more plot-structurally for DH.
2. due South: Happily nothing here needs to be fixed (or maybe a few structural things do, mostly re: the women) but the canon I want with my new magical power is a fifth season with both Rays and Fraser solving crime in Chicago. I actually have no way to articulate how awesome that would be. I actually actively don't want the real world to produce any more dS canon, but in my own magical universe there is a canon Fraser-and-both-Rays season. (OT3 optional.)
3. Battlestar Galactica: I'd ... mess around a lot with season 4.5. For a start, I'd probably make Kara's dad actually a Seven, and therefore make Kara the first half-Cylon, so she and Hera can have Special Destiny parties together. I'd have Leoben around at all during this arc too, not just because I am fond of Leoben but because I think they honestly dropped the ball on that plot thread. I might have Gaius discover that he'd actually died in the blast on Caprica, and was back the way Kara was, although I haven't thought this one all the way through. I'd have let Chief and Boomer settle down somewhere together. I would've made Tory more than a walking plot device. Essentially I'd make a different canon for 4.5!
4. Stargate Atlantis: In my magical tweaked canon, John Sheppard is actualfax gay. Rodney can still end up with Kellar if you like (although since this is my magical tweaked canon, Kellar ends up with Ronon instead, because that one episode that shipped them made me unexpectedly delighted); I want Sheppard to be gay not because then he can be with Rodney but because I think it would be really interesting. And make a lot of sense.
5. The Dark is Rising: At the ending of Silver on the Tree, the children aren't memory-wiped. Dammit, Susan Cooper. Way to destroy small parts of my soul when I was ten.
Feel free to ask me for more top fives!
From
bakatulip: Top 5 fictional couples you wanna have a threesome with.1. Fraser & Kowalski, like anyone is surprised. In fact, I would not just stop at a threesome. I would absolutely also move in with them. They'd be the most awesome and probably deeply aggravating boyfriends in the universe.
2. Sam & Kara, mostly because I'd really love to sleep with Kara, and if she comes as a set, Sam Anders is definitely a cutie. I would not sleep with Lee (even though he becomes mildly attractive to me when he talks about Justice), and because I like at least pretending to be sane and also CKR should not be in all of my answers I'll ... no, that's a lie, I'd happily have a threesome with Kara and Sam but I would just as happily switch Sam up for Leoben.
3. Ten & Martha; I know they are not really a couple, but I'm going to pretend that either the couple clause is optional or that canon is optional. Actually I'd have this secret ulterior motivation of trying to get them to hook up with each other, but really they're just both fabulous, and then after Ten goes off to have angst somewhere, Martha can be my girlfriend. (And look, I didn't say I'd sleep with the Master! This is a step in the right direction even though I copped to Leoben, right?)
4. Gwen & Morgana because -- my crushes on Gwen and Morgana in Merlin cannot actually be quantified. Also I have this conviction that they'd actually be lots better in bed than either Arthur or Merlin, and whereas both Arthur and Merlin would be awkward and say stupid things afterwards, Gwen would probably be solicitous and bring us breakfast in bed and Morgana would look gorgeous first thing in the morning. I'd probably move in with them if Fraser and Kowalski were unavailable.
5. Wash & Zoe, although honestly mostly Zoe. I mean, I love Wash and I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but no, Wash, I have not been with a warrior woman and this saddens me.
From
feverbeats: Top five really fucking gay moments from any show you're fond of.1. My very favourite is still the Doctor/Master phone
2. "Breathing kinda hard there," Kowalski says smirkingly to Fraser over the phone in Call of the Wild. The obvious really gay moment from due South is the buddy breathing, but I don't love it even a fraction as much as I love reaching the above scene and being hit with the sudden conviction that they were absolutely sleeping together. (These moments are both phone calls. Perhaps there is a pattern here.)
3. It's not a show and it's not a moment, but pretty much all of Hard Core Logo. It is one big really fucking gay moment. (For instance, I'd already noticed that they spend the entire film indiscriminately swapping hats, but only when I have the two screencaps side-by-side do I notice that they also do that with sunglasses.) And just. Look at how Joe's leaning into Billy ALL THE TIME. *flaily hands*
4. My roots as a teenage lesbian are showing, but Xena and Gabrielle's kiss in The Quest. I was about fourteen at the time, and I don't know if I've seen that episode more than once or twice, but it's stuck with me because I was an adorable little teenage lesbian before I even realized it. Xena has died and is possessing Autolycus' body; Xena and Gabrielle only kiss on the astral plane and in the real world it's Autolycus who's kissing Gabrielle, which still doesn't actually give the show any plausible deniability as far as the Xena/Gabrielle goes, FFS. Now I really want to see this show again because I can't stop laughing.
5. Rodney and Carson's kiss in Duet. Duet remains one of my favourite SGA episodes, because it gives me the same kind of delighted not-headache that, say, Twelfth Night does. Cadman's sharing a body with Rodney and is in charge for large portions of the action, so when Rodney's body makes out with Katie, how gay is that? Cadman's still in the driver's seat when Rodney kisses Carson, so how gay is that? John Sheppard in his hilarious reaction shot certainly doesn't know! Man, now I want to rewatch some SGA too.
Honorable mention: to all of Willow and Tara's magical lesbian sex; they only get an honorable mention because, despite that for the most part they are having ~metaphorical~ sex or really chaste cute onscreen kisses, they're still Definitely Canon. Whereas most of my favourite moments sort of flirt with canon without actually making any commitments.
From
kinglets: Top 5 things you would change about the Harry Potter books.1. Remus/Tonks. I don't necessarily think that Remus/Tonks shouldn't've happened, my own shipping preferences notwithstanding; the way that it was done skeeved the hell out of me. I would have had Remus and Tonks interact meaningfully in OotP. I would have had Tonks bring up the fact that she wanted to be with Remus at some point that was not when Remus was cornered in the hospital wing surrounded by people including a man who had just been savaged by Greyback. I would have, in DH, had Remus visibly worried about his incipient family and torn between various duties, while meanwhile Tonks was actually cognizant of Remus' worries and not obliviously glowing with happiness stage left. It could have been done right.
2. The various redemptions in Deathly Hallows. This is part of my larger "the entire Marauder generation was treated shamefully in DH" problem, but specifically: Wormtail. Wormtail needed some bigger redemption than a single moment of hesitation; it was anticlimactic and wrecked havoc on the whole redemption theme JKR had earlier established. And Snape! I have not quite figured out what to do with Snape, but I think nearly anything is better than the pat "he was in love with Lily all along" answer. I'd have loved to see real complexities dealing with Snape playing both sides, and having nagging feelings about owing James something, and feeling real loyalty specifically to Dumbledore, without it having a pat and clichéd answer. I also wish JKR had done more with Draco, but what she did with Narcissa more or less makes up for it.
3. The epilogue. Really I would have just left it out entirely, but if it had to be there, I'd like to hear what everyone was actually up to. I understand that the point was to show Harry finally having a normal happy family, but the epilogue actively freaked me out, because what it showed was that, a decade or so post-Voldemort, everything is exactly the same. The Slytherins are the same old nasty Slytherins. Has there been magical creature reform? Who cares! And hey, Ron still acts like he's about seventeen. Good times.
4. Kreacher, an issue that is related to both #2 and #3. The fact that Kreacher only needed Harry to be nice to him and he became the nicest fluffiest most accommodating house elf ever is Not Cool. To begin with, I'm glad that Hermione convinced Harry and Ron to be nice to him -- except that Harry and Ron have always been pretty nice to house elves, and Harry had a damn good reason to not treat Kreacher right. Potentially it's good that Harry came to understand Kreacher's side of his betrayal of Sirius to the Malfoys, except the moral of that story is not "Harry learns forgiveness and empathy, and good things result;" rather it's "Harry learns that Kreacher was only doing as a house elf should, and now that Harry is treating Kreacher as a kind master treats his house elf, good things result." So we have a really different moral about house elves in general than the earlier books set up -- what do you know, Dobby really is nuts and Hermione really was misguided about the house elves' situation being slavery! -- and we've also learned that Sirius probably got what he deserved. After all, if he'd just been nice to Kreacher, he might not have died! This so wildly misses the point that ... well, that I paragraph about it excessively.
5. Speaking of, Sirius' death! I get it, he died. JKR might've just hit him with the Killing Curse, or more properly explained the Veil, because as is, I spent all of HBP waiting for Sirius to reappear. When a rule of the Harry Potter universe is "There's no death without a body," respect the damn rule.
...I have more, but those are the five I get most worked up about. Honorable mention goes to my bewilderment with how Ron/Hermione was handled in the last two books.
From
gehayi: You have been given the power to make five things canon in five different fandoms. Which canons do you change, and what do you change in them?1. Harry Potter: Probably just all the things I listed above. I'd just do wildly different things with the last two books, really; thematically for both of them, and more plot-structurally for DH.
2. due South: Happily nothing here needs to be fixed (or maybe a few structural things do, mostly re: the women) but the canon I want with my new magical power is a fifth season with both Rays and Fraser solving crime in Chicago. I actually have no way to articulate how awesome that would be. I actually actively don't want the real world to produce any more dS canon, but in my own magical universe there is a canon Fraser-and-both-Rays season. (OT3 optional.)
3. Battlestar Galactica: I'd ... mess around a lot with season 4.5. For a start, I'd probably make Kara's dad actually a Seven, and therefore make Kara the first half-Cylon, so she and Hera can have Special Destiny parties together. I'd have Leoben around at all during this arc too, not just because I am fond of Leoben but because I think they honestly dropped the ball on that plot thread. I might have Gaius discover that he'd actually died in the blast on Caprica, and was back the way Kara was, although I haven't thought this one all the way through. I'd have let Chief and Boomer settle down somewhere together. I would've made Tory more than a walking plot device. Essentially I'd make a different canon for 4.5!
4. Stargate Atlantis: In my magical tweaked canon, John Sheppard is actualfax gay. Rodney can still end up with Kellar if you like (although since this is my magical tweaked canon, Kellar ends up with Ronon instead, because that one episode that shipped them made me unexpectedly delighted); I want Sheppard to be gay not because then he can be with Rodney but because I think it would be really interesting. And make a lot of sense.
5. The Dark is Rising: At the ending of Silver on the Tree, the children aren't memory-wiped. Dammit, Susan Cooper. Way to destroy small parts of my soul when I was ten.
Feel free to ask me for more top fives!
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One of my top five would definitely be The Slytherin Problem, personally, because I really hate the idea that wanting to be special and influential and being willing to do what's necessary to make it happen means you are guaranteed to be a dickhead unless somebody kills your stalkee / causes injury to your house elf. And the fact that the Evil Slytherins do not act at all like one actually would whilst Evil and Slytherin, but rather like caricatures of bad guys as envisioned by a morally absolutist Gryffindor. (I need to stop ranting in other people's comment sections about this, ahaha berserk button. XD)
On a lighter note: I was not aware that dS was so canonically full of HoYay. DVD rentals need to happen, y/mfy?
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Re: Slytherins, I think that's another case in point about starting out at one point and veering wildly in another. I think that "everyone sorted into Slytherin is Evil" does NOT follow that "choices not abilities make us who we are" deal. This holds true times a BILLION for Voldemort's backstory, but also for the Slytherins in general.
And MFY!! re: renting due South, although I say this mostly because I love getting other people into my Fandom of the Moment. If you want to invest proper time and energy in dS, I'd say start at the beginning and work your way through; if you're just there for the more blatant HoYay, start with s3. I mean, it's a buddy cop show so Fraser and the first Ray have plenty also but you hit s3 and ... I've explained it to people this way: there are probably certain criteria for considering a ship canon. Like, for example: [a] authorial intent (apparently Paul Gross, who played Fraser, wrote some of the episodes, and was executive producer for s3/4, admitted somewhere to intentional gay subtext), [b] the actors playing it that way, [c] on-screen declarations of love (there is context, to be fair; "I mean metaphorically or something," Ray says), [d] an on-screen kiss (the buddy breathing, and dismally lit, but it's a damn kiss), and [e] the characters ending up together at the end of the show ... check. It is not explicit canon, but damn.
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Someday I will rent due South. Someday! XD Everything I've heard about it is unapologetically weird.
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JKR dropped the ball so hard on the whole Slyltherin issue. Way to ignore the Sorting Hat, JKR!
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FFS. :( And even Dumbledore noticed, but JKR apparently doesn't ... reread anything she writes?
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OMG yes, on all counts! *in your magical universe I am flailing like crazy*
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On the other hand, my magical universe is MADE OF AWESOME, and I kind of want to visit it sometime. :D
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YES. You know, I think that was the last ever episode of SGA I could be bothered to watch. So in my frozen headcanon, they are totally dating.
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And I never recovered the birds in HBP, either. To see how fucked up a picture of romance that is, genderswap it and eliminate the magic.
Now you have a boy named Herman attacking a girl named Rhonda for having the gall to kiss a boy named Leander. With a knife. Leaving wounds that don't heal for a month.
This is not love. This is not romance. This is not even lust. This is an insanely jealous control freak using force to compel the person he claims to love to behave as he wishes. This is the kind of thing that results in the target of the control freak's obsession getting killed.
It doesn't become more romantic if the girl is doing the attacking. NO, JKR. Bad writer! No biscuit!
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Granted, I don't mind this particular trope when it supports couples I like...such as Harry Dresden/John Marcone. But JKR emphasized the physical harm that Hermione did...and plainly thought it a sign of a loving relationship. Feh.
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I really like that concept! Let me know when you've thought it all the way through!
And, uh, when I first read "Xena" in your entry, I immediately thought of dress!Fraser. *facepalms*
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AHAHAHA. To my massive hilarity & horror I am now picturing RayK in that Gabrielle outfit. Thanks, Carrie, thanks. XDDD
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(oh, my brain. *facepalms*)
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Oh my fucking god, write it. I mean, I don't know what would happen, I don't think the world is in any way less awesome because it doesn't exist, and mostly I just want to make a Leoben/D'Anna joke now, but -- but -- fds;lsdkfd. Heeee.
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