aria | your crushes are not codependent brothers

Huh. That's a really interesting meme, actually. I tend to have a goldfish brain and can never remember anything when it comes to fannish things- even when I love something desperately, like head-over-heels, change my life, leave me dreaming about it for days... even then I usually can't remember anything specific about it after a week or two, let alone months or years. The most I get left with is how I felt while reading/watching/listening to it, and even that fades. Not only fandom things either- regular fiction, non-fiction, movies, plays....

It really is a miracle I ever got through college.

But when I think of your writing, the first thing that comes to mind is this scene in one of your Doctor Who fics (one of the season projects, 5th I think?) where the Doctor and the Master are playing that really bizarre game of sorta-chess with bits of string all tied up everywhere and found objects strewn all over the floors. They're playing out this intense, sprawling game of hypothetical universal domination and it stays with me as epitomizing the most entertaining things about the Doctor: his absurd creativity, springing from boredom at being the cleverest swot in school, his vast knowledge and how it lets him come up with the most ridiculous and wonderful details at a moments notice, and of course his fucking giant ego, where everything else in the universe is just a pawn for his amusement. I mean, also, it sounded wicked fun.

It is a miracle you got through college! <3333

It is indeed in the fifth season project! And you have utterly DELIGHTED me, because -- well, when you're writing that fast, you just write what comes to mind and pray that it will make thematic sense. So the fact that it epitomizes entertaining things about the Doctor to you fills me with bouncy joy. :D

Ode to Jamie Crawford! I listened to that a ridiculous number of times when I first came across it, which was actually BEFORE I'd ever read The Demon's Lexicon. And now that I've actually read the book I like it even MORE. It is so great.

The one scene/shot/detail I want to keep out of all the things you've made: Probably I am unduly influenced by having done a podfic of it, but the very end of Fiction, where Methos is lying there on the cusp of sleep, happy, and hopeful that things will actually work out for once. THAT MOMENT.

Also, and I have no idea why, the image that has stuck with me the most from fics of yours that I HAVEN'T podficced is from one of your Doctor Who Season Five. It's the scene with the Doctor and the Master playing chess, bits of string and random objects all over the place. It's just so, idek, so vivid.

It's actually slightly surreal to me!

nextian has been an IRL friend for aaages, and we used to while away the teenage hours with her filking things at me, so the fact that her Jamie song has over 1000 hits on YouTube fills me with JOY.

Ahhh yes of course you picked a Methos moment! I suspect he should carry around a little sign that says "hope springs eternal: go ahead, kick me" on it. /o\

And you are the second person to go for the three-dimensional chess scene! I am a bit fascinated by this. :D

Whoa, and I had no idea you and nextian even knew each other! That WOULD be surreal. WELL. It's an excellent song, and she totally deserves all the hits on youtube.

It is weird being this obsessed over a particular character! I mean, I'm so polyfannish! And yet I just keep coming back to him. Also, I'm pretty sure Methos DOES carry around that sign. It's just not in actual words.

Yeah, I posted my comment and scrolled up and saw that someone else had talked about the chess scene and went, WHAT REALLY, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE? I think part of what gets me about it is that it's kind of emblematic of their relationship: messy and sprawly and complicated and utterly compelling, and also very tied up with their relationships with the rest of the universe.

And this is when I remember that we have been friends for a relatively short time! Go back into my archives a few years (well, DON'T, eventually my old journaling makes me facepalm) and it is all weekend-adventures-with-nextian! posts. :D

OH I HEAR YOU THERE. I am doing a billion other projects, but I still know Methos is there waiting patiently for me to have time to keep talking about him.

it's kind of emblematic of their relationship: messy and sprawly and complicated and utterly compelling, and also very tied up with their relationships with the rest of the universe.

:DDD See, this is one of the many fabulous reasons to keep friends around! They make it look like you actually know what themes you're going for even when you're frantically banging out 4000 words a day. :D

And this is when I admit that actually I am a horrible stalkerface, and before friending you I read through pretty much your entire journal archive! I just have a terrible memory for names. I do this to kind of a lot of people's journals. Um. dontjudgemeimnotcreepyiswear....

I love the way that subconsciouses are capable of sticking in themes that you don't even realize you were going for, that people reading it afterwards can look at it and go "oooh!" (Also, I am still gobsmacked at the idea of 4000 words a day. I don't think I will ever not be.)

Hahaha! Well, okay then. :D Totally not judging you, by the way; whenever I get a new fandom, I have this tendency to track down likely-looking journals and read all the fandom posts. And then usually not even say anything in comments. So, y'know.

I know! It delights me about lots of writing, not just my own. (Also ... sometimes I don't know how I did it. I don't recommend it, though! I have this vague recollection of maybe eating while I was doing the season projects? And I would fall asleep thinking about the next day's episode. And the few times I had to go out to run errands, I was desperate to get back and keep writing. And ... MADNESS, basically.)

Yes, I do exactly that. I am glad I am not the only one!

Yeah, and I think it's hilarious when authors find out that people are interpreting their book in a certain way, and protest "BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Because author doesn't always know everything. I love it.

Many things, but this one is easy: It will be difficult, and trying, and it will always, Doctor, be difficult and trying. From the s4 project. When things are tough, I automatically describe them to myself as "difficult and trying" in my head.

Also, the scene in the naming of things where Koschei says the first syllable of his name to Theta.

AHHHH THAT IS GREAT. Hey, no matter what is going on, Scott, at least you're not responsible for making sure the Master doesn't destroy civilization!

Oh YES. If that stuck with you, I did that scene right. \o/

EASY.

Better, better, please just let me be -- (I still have trouble reading that section of the naming of things. I don't know if I wanted to KEEP it, but striking home, oh yes.)

But I also have a very vivid memory of the Doctor playing the psallopiano in S5 <3

YAY. Oh, both these things fill me with joy. (Although ... maybe I shouldn't be happy that it's difficult for you to reread that bit? But I am glad to occasionally write hard things.)

"I was wondering if you wanted to come on a picnic with me," Donna says, and takes a deep breath. "Space picnic. Somewhere out there." She looks at Mum. "I'd really love it."

(In fact, all of DWS4 and DWS5, especially the Time Lord Chess and the moments in DWS4 where the Master can't stand the way the Doctor looks at him.)

Eee, I am glad bits of the season projects made it on there! The Time Lord chess seems to be a recurring theme, too. :)

Maybe because I feel in some odd way it was written for me (even though I know it's mostly that you were on your Peter Wingfield kick), but I love Dissect the Suppositions, and the kiss they have at the end, and this: "I want to be able to say my goodbyes honestly." always makes me flail.

Um, no, I'm pretty sure that, Peter Wingfield kick aside, Dissect the Suppositions was for you. :D

\o/

\o/ Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. My musical stylings are of course deeply genius, as is the way I messed up on like sixteen of the chords.

Psh, whatever, everyone still loved it.

Also! IDK when you will have free time, but I would love to phonetalk and catch up, and by "catch up" obviously I mean "yell about Demon's Covenant a lot."

I would enjoy this! Actually I have to go get my car and go shopping, can I call you in like fifteen minutes?

Also I -- have to admit that if I were only to keep one thing out of anything you've made, it might be the ~~entirety of naming of things~~ scene where Koschei decides that OBVIOUSLY the solution to a crush on someone is to wake up new.

Yay! Go for it. :D

Ahaha, well, let's be honest, if I had to take down everything I'd ever written but one, I'd keep the naming of things. So!

GOOD MEME. I'm going to add to the giant pile of love for absolutely everything in the naming of things? I probably remember the death scenes most, though, because that's just the way my brain works. (Er.) And probably because that was around when I was like, "this thing that is fanfiction, I think it should be in my life for a long time!" But... yeah. You are a rather memorable writer :D

YAY. :D Also, hey, you are not alone in remembering the death scenes! I am not judging your brain. (Hell, my brain came up with it, of course I am not judging yours.)

If you were asked to pick one scene, one shot, one detail, one moment of some kind out of all the things I've made and say "This, this, for whatever reason, I remember, this is something that struck home with me, that I wanted to keep," what would it be?

I can't pick just one. I have to pick three.

Everything in The Naming of Things. That is so canon with me it is ridiculous. But the moments that stand out are these:

1) Koschei deciding that the logical solution to problems in a relationship is suicide and regeneration. Because really, you KNOW that's going to end well.

2) Theta and Koschei joining their minds telepathically.

That one always gets me because it's intimacy on a level that no human can ever know, and it involves masses of trust on both sides (an incredible amount from Koschei just to allow this to happen)...and yet it's not enough. Because he's still concealing the parts of himself that he knows Theta wouldn't react well to, and you can't really blame him for that because everyone wants their partner to think well of them...and yet he's lying to Theta. Very deliberately lying in a fundamental way, and Theta is going to realize sooner or later that there are things he isn't seeing, and he's going to see the distrust and be deeply hurt--as much as he was when Koschei first regenerated, if not more.

And Koschei isn't going to understand WHY.

3) Theta and Koschei meeting as little boys and falling asleep in the same bed after spending half the night talking. It's so cute and it always breaks my heart, because Koschei is just so damaged, and yet it's not immediately apparent. And Theta/Doctor will always wonder if there was ever something he could have done to fix what's wrong. So the scene is both sweet and fundamentally tragic, and I want to hug them both.

All of these things fill me with joy! Especially that naming of things is canon to you. <333

t isn't ... what he'd expected. Despite the music, despite the obvious patchwork lie that makes up the final cut, there is something raw and honest about this damn film, something -- something Geoffrey overused and abused, applied with indiscriminate disaster to his own life, something Shakespearean. Geoffrey catches onto it, catches on somewhere during a lonely stretch of highway and thinks, Ah: Pipefitter is your rustic clown, John your honest fool; and Billy is somewhere in a warehouse, rehearsing guitar riffs and grinding his way down to nothing, which makes him impossible to cast, because Geoffrey doesn't know the play. Antony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, wrong, wrong, Billy's still breathing.

At the end Geoffrey sits through the white noise hum of the credits, wondering how the hell Billy and Joe ended up with scripts for completely different plays.

Because SHAKESPEARE and meta and GEOFFREY. /intelligent reasoning

your crushes are not codependent brothers

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HAHA THIS MEME IS SO FUCKING--I DON'T EVEN KNOW

Re: HAHA THIS MEME IS SO FUCKING--I DON'T EVEN KNOW

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