![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
a traveller from an antique land (and other crack stories)
The problem with moving, it turns out, is that I spend a lot of time using my muscles to haul furniture, which leaves my brain free to hang out on the spinning hamster wheel of absurdity. I will now share with you some of the fascinating things that have been going on in my head:
i. I had such fun with yesterday's WIP meme that I thought up a few more. These are less likely to get written, but eh, what are a few more absurd Highlander crossovers among friends?
The White Collar one
Neal: I have, in fact, been running white collar cons since the 1930s!
Peter: I know, because I'm your Watcher.
El: Isn't there some kind of noninterference clause, honey?
Peter: It's ... complicated.
Amanda: I taught Neal everything he knows!
Me: ...That explains a lot.
Mozzie: I KNEW IMMORTALS WERE REAL.
The Buffy one
Giles and Joe: We get together for jam sessions sometimes! We met at Watcher academy.
Me: But -- how am I supposed to reconcile Slayer mythology and Immortal mythology? This is absurd.
Joe: We have more important things to worry about. Like what would happen if Buffy and Mac started hanging out.
Me: Oh god.
Faith: Can I spend time with Methos?
Buffy: Please can I spend time with Duncan?
Amanda and Anya: We'll be taking bets.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW BUT BOTH OF THESE WOULD BE PRETTY GREAT.
ii. This is not actually a real crossover at all, just a thought: Amanda from Highlander/River Song. Possibly with heists. DISCUSS.
iii. There is this fairly hilarious White Collar vid to One Jump Ahead from Aladdin. I thought it was cute and clever at the time, and moved on. But obviously it stuck with me, because today, on my iPod's shuffle, the tricksy iPod oracle started playing "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)" from Hercules and -- my god, I can't stop laughing, it is the most perfect Methos crackvid to ever exist. Except that it doesn't exist yet! Obviously, if I ever do try to learn how to vid, this should be the first one I do; it won't matter if it's rubbish, I'll learn the ropes, and it'll be fucking hysterical.
iv. Speaking of Methos (when am I not speaking of Methos?) I am writing a fic. It's Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair, as I think I mentioned in the previous WIP post! And I am having my normal longfic troubles with it, ie, I keep being sidetracked by trying to figure out every little last minute detail in my personal canon about Methos, and that is not useful. Therefore! Know how those 'list x pieces of personal canon for x show/character' memes sometimes go around? I'm doing one of those.
1. There was no traumatic incident in his past that made him forget his childhood. Methos is sure he could remember if he ever really bothered, but it must not have been very important, and there are only so many memories a brain can hold. After all, he is only human.
2. On the other hand, he occasionally wonders if the first wife he remembers isn't, in fact, his first wife.
3. He was sold to Kronos as a slave, at a particularly vulnerable point in his life when he didn't happen to be in possession of a sword. He knows exactly what he's talking about when he's talking to Cassandra about Stockholm Syndrome.
4. Kronos picked up Caspian with the aim of having a student, and was very pleased with the result; Methos never really liked Caspian at all. Silas was a gift from Kronos to Methos for good behavior. Silas is Methos' only pet project that Kronos didn't eventually take away.
5. He and Kronos were genuinely partners after the first hundred years. The Horsemen, and their specific strategies of terror, were mostly Methos' idea. And he really, really loved it.
6. He isn't sorry.
7. He doesn't wake up screaming from nightmares. Anymore.
8. The last time he openly used the name Methos was around 500 BC, when Kronos caught up with him again in Rome. After that, he made very sure to let everyone know that Methos was quite definitely dead.
9. He's known about the Watchers since Rome. He pretended to be his own Watcher to kill himself off, and since then, he stops in every few hundred years to check in on his progress. It's been a bit more awkward since the invention of photography, but he muddles along all right.
10. After Watcher (and priest, or grad student, or whatever his Watcher disguise of the moment is), Methos' most frequent occupation is doctor. He doesn't heal people out of some misplaced sense of atonement; saving someone in England in 1812 is hardly going to bring back some village slaughtered three millennia beforehand. He simply heals people because the alternative is unthinkable.
11. He was in Lutetia when Darius invaded and took his Light Quickening. Methos was friends with that old priest.
12. He was, however, also friends with Darius. Eventually.
13. It's impossible for him to keep careful tabs on every single Immortal he's encountered over the years, but he did make sure he always knew exactly where Kronos, Caspian, and Silas were. He's been tempted to go see Silas a dozen times. He's even bought plane tickets. But he never did actually go.
14. He also keeps tabs on Immortals with unusual Game statistics. He was following Duncan's exploits for a good five years before they met.
15. He has a definite type in men: engaging, charismatic, very enthusiastic about life and usually possessing some seductive ideology about how to live it; often Immortal. Methos is attracted to both men and women, but his romantic history is skewed heavily toward women because, given the alternative, he has a dangerous tendency to lose himself.
16. The last head he took before Kristin's, in 1995, was in April 1794, when he and a minor noble of Queen Caroline's household came to blows over the affections of a certain young woman. There was nothing really traumatic about the experience. Methos was just tired of it, so he stopped for a while.
17. He was still tired and out of practice when he essentially offered Duncan his head. This is not to say that he had any intention of letting MacLeod actually kill him; he wasn't sure how much longer Adam Pierson was going to hold up anyway, and he was angling for an ally. He loves good guys.
18. The debacle with Kalas is hardly the first time Methos met Amanda. He met her in the 1100s. She failed to seduce Richard the Lionheart. The same cannot be said for Methos and Eleanor of Aquitaine. Anyway, they got their hands on those jewels, so it all worked out in the end.
19. He doesn't actually lie very often. He withholds information, and lets the people around him make certain assumptions which he doesn't then correct, and knows exactly how to give people what they want and tell them what they want to hear. But, especially when he knows it'll go unnoticed or be discounted, he tells the truth.
20. Duncan is the only person Methos has ever felt really safe with. He knows that Duncan won't allow anyone else to kill him; he knows it's very unlikely that Duncan is going to kill him, either; and he knows that, if Duncan did kill him, he's the only person Methos would trust with his Quickening anyway. He tries not to think about any of this, because it scares the hell out of him.
I HAVE MORE. But unless I did, like, five thousand bits of trivia, I wouldn't be able to cover it anyway, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.
i. I had such fun with yesterday's WIP meme that I thought up a few more. These are less likely to get written, but eh, what are a few more absurd Highlander crossovers among friends?
The White Collar one
Neal: I have, in fact, been running white collar cons since the 1930s!
Peter: I know, because I'm your Watcher.
El: Isn't there some kind of noninterference clause, honey?
Peter: It's ... complicated.
Amanda: I taught Neal everything he knows!
Me: ...That explains a lot.
Mozzie: I KNEW IMMORTALS WERE REAL.
The Buffy one
Giles and Joe: We get together for jam sessions sometimes! We met at Watcher academy.
Me: But -- how am I supposed to reconcile Slayer mythology and Immortal mythology? This is absurd.
Joe: We have more important things to worry about. Like what would happen if Buffy and Mac started hanging out.
Me: Oh god.
Faith: Can I spend time with Methos?
Buffy: Please can I spend time with Duncan?
Amanda and Anya: We'll be taking bets.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW BUT BOTH OF THESE WOULD BE PRETTY GREAT.
ii. This is not actually a real crossover at all, just a thought: Amanda from Highlander/River Song. Possibly with heists. DISCUSS.
iii. There is this fairly hilarious White Collar vid to One Jump Ahead from Aladdin. I thought it was cute and clever at the time, and moved on. But obviously it stuck with me, because today, on my iPod's shuffle, the tricksy iPod oracle started playing "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)" from Hercules and -- my god, I can't stop laughing, it is the most perfect Methos crackvid to ever exist. Except that it doesn't exist yet! Obviously, if I ever do try to learn how to vid, this should be the first one I do; it won't matter if it's rubbish, I'll learn the ropes, and it'll be fucking hysterical.
iv. Speaking of Methos (when am I not speaking of Methos?) I am writing a fic. It's Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair, as I think I mentioned in the previous WIP post! And I am having my normal longfic troubles with it, ie, I keep being sidetracked by trying to figure out every little last minute detail in my personal canon about Methos, and that is not useful. Therefore! Know how those 'list x pieces of personal canon for x show/character' memes sometimes go around? I'm doing one of those.
1. There was no traumatic incident in his past that made him forget his childhood. Methos is sure he could remember if he ever really bothered, but it must not have been very important, and there are only so many memories a brain can hold. After all, he is only human.
2. On the other hand, he occasionally wonders if the first wife he remembers isn't, in fact, his first wife.
3. He was sold to Kronos as a slave, at a particularly vulnerable point in his life when he didn't happen to be in possession of a sword. He knows exactly what he's talking about when he's talking to Cassandra about Stockholm Syndrome.
4. Kronos picked up Caspian with the aim of having a student, and was very pleased with the result; Methos never really liked Caspian at all. Silas was a gift from Kronos to Methos for good behavior. Silas is Methos' only pet project that Kronos didn't eventually take away.
5. He and Kronos were genuinely partners after the first hundred years. The Horsemen, and their specific strategies of terror, were mostly Methos' idea. And he really, really loved it.
6. He isn't sorry.
7. He doesn't wake up screaming from nightmares. Anymore.
8. The last time he openly used the name Methos was around 500 BC, when Kronos caught up with him again in Rome. After that, he made very sure to let everyone know that Methos was quite definitely dead.
9. He's known about the Watchers since Rome. He pretended to be his own Watcher to kill himself off, and since then, he stops in every few hundred years to check in on his progress. It's been a bit more awkward since the invention of photography, but he muddles along all right.
10. After Watcher (and priest, or grad student, or whatever his Watcher disguise of the moment is), Methos' most frequent occupation is doctor. He doesn't heal people out of some misplaced sense of atonement; saving someone in England in 1812 is hardly going to bring back some village slaughtered three millennia beforehand. He simply heals people because the alternative is unthinkable.
11. He was in Lutetia when Darius invaded and took his Light Quickening. Methos was friends with that old priest.
12. He was, however, also friends with Darius. Eventually.
13. It's impossible for him to keep careful tabs on every single Immortal he's encountered over the years, but he did make sure he always knew exactly where Kronos, Caspian, and Silas were. He's been tempted to go see Silas a dozen times. He's even bought plane tickets. But he never did actually go.
14. He also keeps tabs on Immortals with unusual Game statistics. He was following Duncan's exploits for a good five years before they met.
15. He has a definite type in men: engaging, charismatic, very enthusiastic about life and usually possessing some seductive ideology about how to live it; often Immortal. Methos is attracted to both men and women, but his romantic history is skewed heavily toward women because, given the alternative, he has a dangerous tendency to lose himself.
16. The last head he took before Kristin's, in 1995, was in April 1794, when he and a minor noble of Queen Caroline's household came to blows over the affections of a certain young woman. There was nothing really traumatic about the experience. Methos was just tired of it, so he stopped for a while.
17. He was still tired and out of practice when he essentially offered Duncan his head. This is not to say that he had any intention of letting MacLeod actually kill him; he wasn't sure how much longer Adam Pierson was going to hold up anyway, and he was angling for an ally. He loves good guys.
18. The debacle with Kalas is hardly the first time Methos met Amanda. He met her in the 1100s. She failed to seduce Richard the Lionheart. The same cannot be said for Methos and Eleanor of Aquitaine. Anyway, they got their hands on those jewels, so it all worked out in the end.
19. He doesn't actually lie very often. He withholds information, and lets the people around him make certain assumptions which he doesn't then correct, and knows exactly how to give people what they want and tell them what they want to hear. But, especially when he knows it'll go unnoticed or be discounted, he tells the truth.
20. Duncan is the only person Methos has ever felt really safe with. He knows that Duncan won't allow anyone else to kill him; he knows it's very unlikely that Duncan is going to kill him, either; and he knows that, if Duncan did kill him, he's the only person Methos would trust with his Quickening anyway. He tries not to think about any of this, because it scares the hell out of him.
I HAVE MORE. But unless I did, like, five thousand bits of trivia, I wouldn't be able to cover it anyway, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.
no subject
Also, if Eleanor of Aquitaine took Methos as a lover, even for a little while, I think she was very lucky.
no subject
I think I am a bit envious of both Eleanor and Methos, actually. :D
no subject
I'm pretty sure that Methos told Amanda afterwards that Richard might have been more appreciative if he, Methos, had tried to seduce Richard and not her. And that she threw something at him and then burst out laughing.
I also think that Methos and Amanda have been lovers, business partners, rivals in theft and in love (for both men and women, because to my mind, Amanda, like Methos, is pansexual)...but that, ultimately, before anything else, they're friends. And that means a lot to both of them.
no subject
no subject
Also, I really REALLY want to see the Eleanor of Aquitaine/Methos/Henry II threesome, because you KNOW that both of them would have found Methos irresistible. (And Thomas Becket hated Methos with a fiery passion.)
no subject