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down by the old main drag
Despite the tried-and-true cheering-up methods of dressing snazzy, having hot chocolate, reading comfort stories, and enthusiastically tackling the slush pile, my brain is still having one of those days where I cannot stop overthinking and being anxious about nearly everything. Writing ridiculous fic may be the ticket, but in the meantime, it seems like everyone is having a rubbish November so far, and so I propose:
IMPROMPTU ROUNDS OF MARRY-SHAG-CLIFF! Ask me characters! Ask me for characters! Interrogate me on why I'd ever think marrying x would be a valid life choice! I realize that midafternoon on a Thursday is a ridiculous time for this sort of thing, but hell, this can be an all-day party. Have at it.
IMPROMPTU ROUNDS OF MARRY-SHAG-CLIFF! Ask me characters! Ask me for characters! Interrogate me on why I'd ever think marrying x would be a valid life choice! I realize that midafternoon on a Thursday is a ridiculous time for this sort of thing, but hell, this can be an all-day party. Have at it.

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This one is...less easy than my instinctive reaction wanted me to think! Let's see. Presuming we're talking about Reboot, since that's the version of the characters I know the best: Marry Spock, because I love him dearly. Shag Kirk, because although I love him dearly too I would have trouble getting along with him, and he is also REALLY HOT. Cliff McCoy, because he can totally patch himself up at the bottom and wander away grumbling about this goddamn woman who doesn't even want to leave him his bones.
Lady Macbeth, Hamlet, Juliet!
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Cue my HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER. Man, I don't want to marry any of these people! I think ... I will shag Lady Macbeth, because she's pretty damn hot; I will marry Hamlet and GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF DENMARK; and poor Juliet can probably take care of cliffing herself.
IDK how broad your knowledge of Shakespeare is, but I think I will give you some of my favorite ladies! Viola, Beatrice, Portia!
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Unfortunately my knowledge of Shakespeare is not quite that broad! I know and love Viola, and have now gone to Wikipedia to remedy my lack of familiarity with the others, and will have to say that I'll cliff Portia because although she sounds awesome, it also sounds like quite a PAIN to try to marry her. I'll marry Viola instead, because -- I like her. And I'll shag Beatrice because although she seems great I don't want to have to be constantly quarrelling with her for the rest of my natural life. :D
How about...Richard II, Richard III, and Cleopatra, just to continue the Shakespeare theme!
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Oof. I'm cliffing Richard II, because he's just too damn boring for me. I am shagging the hell out of Cleopatra. Richard III and I will get married and be misunderstood and evil together! It'll be GREAT.
Claudius, Gertrude, Polonius. Ahahaha.
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And oh gosh, can I cliff all of the above? Um, oh dear. I'll cliff Claudius, because I really don't want to have to hang out with a killer for longer than I have to. I'll marry Polonius because he's basically harmless. And I'll shag Gertrude because I'm betting she's the one left over.
Changing the theme: Jane, Mr Rochester, St John! (assuming you're familiar with the book, that is)
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Oh yes, I certainly know Jane Eyre! Hmm. I think I'll marry Jane, shag Rochester, and cliff St John. Whatever, St John.
If you'll forgive me for sticking with Hamlet: Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, Horatio!
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I have no problems with a continuation of Hamlet! I believe I shall marry Horatio, because he's basically sensible! And then let Rosencrantz and Guildenstern decide among themselves about what'll happen to which -- that should be fun to watch.
How about...Mr Darcy, Mr Knightley, and Colonel Brandon!