selfish bastards

[aria]

Today I went to see Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows!

As usual when talking about Holmesian media I am starting with a paragraph about my relationship to the material, and it is this: these films aren't canon. (Nothing but the canon, and possibly Jeremy Brett's Granada series, are canon.) Going in with the assumption that every adaptation is essentially fic is deeply freeing, but it also means that instead of judging it on the merits of being an adaptation, I'm judging it on the merits of being a really high-budget fannish endeavor. I'm not sure if that will make the contents of my reaction any different, but I figured it was worth mentioning.

To get what I violently disliked out of the way first: I hated that they killed Irene Adler. I understand the narrative rationale, namely to establish that Moriarty is serious business and that Watson and Mary are in real peril, but it does not make me rageface any less. One does not need to actually murder Irene in order to allow Sim some screentime! Not only that, but the whole point of Irene is that she's the one that got away. Alas, the assassination of character in the name of exciting fanfic. Fine, then, in my headcanon for this universe, Irene somehow faked being poisoned in order to get out of her deal with Moriarty, and now she's somewhere in America, laughing at these foolish men. But ... yeah, it was unfortunate this happened, and so early on, because I continued to be annoyed for the rest of the film because of it.

That said, I was also all prepared to be annoyed at the comedy cross-dressing, and then I ... really wasn't. Which isn't to say that it wasn't faily comedy cross-dressing; it totally was! I just got completely distracted by shirtless RDJ smeared with makeup being totally competent and projecting emotional desperation in Watson's general direction, a combination I found kind of lethally hot. I am not sure if this was the intention, but it happened.

In fact, I am not sure generally what was up with the general laid-on-thick homoeroticism. I mean, I expected it considering the first film, but even so -- Okay. There's this thing that is happening everywhere with buddy cop-type duos recently, specifically the two-men type, in which the homoeroticism is there to bait the fans of queer relationships, but is otherwise deniable. So you have what was supposed to be comedy cross-dressing and comedy "Lie with me, Watson," and if the audience is uncomfortable they can just laugh and mostly ignore it, and at this point the desire of film and television people to have their cake and eat it too in that way is driving me slightly nuts. BUT. I am not sure if that's what's going on here. In this film just as much as in the last one, the emotional story is Holmes' incredibly codependent need to keep Watson in his life; so we end up with scenes like the one in which Watson, having discovered that Holmes has thrown Mary out of a moving train, physically grapples with him while Holmes is half-naked and smeared with makeup, and we're coming very close to something that isn't subtext. (Sharktext, I think rayruz has called it, when a text skims right along the surface.) I find myself therefore weirdly incapable of feeling that weary, "Stop this pointless dance and give me some fucking queer text already!" because -- I wasn't given it but I also wasn't not, if that makes any sense.

It's also possible that I'm just giddily addled by some of the later scenes: Watson's wonderful reaction to Holmes' brief death aboard the train whilst they're fleeing Germany; the bit where, to my utter astonishment, Holmes and Watson danced together at the embassy, and while I was wondering why no one at the embassy thought this might be slightly scandalous, I was smiling so hard I hurt my face a bit; and that still quiet moment before Holmes and Moriarty go over the Falls, the peaceful acceptance on Holmes' face, the devastation on Watson's. I think my point is that they can stuff this film to the gills with explosions and stupid unnecessary deaths and a really absurd A plot about starting WWI early, and they can give me a Holmes who is a hot mess brimming with repressed abandonment issues and a Watson who is angry with him all the damn time, which is an amazing but wild extrapolation from canon, but -- if I get those moments in which Holmes and Watson know one another inside out and are utterly mad for each other, oh am I there.

It is certainly also worth mentioning that I really liked Sim; she felt a bit like she was there just so's they could have some ladies, but I am all for ladies, especially since they didn't try to make her a love interest for Holmes, and damn was she badass with a knife. As usual I am a big fan of Mary who, against all odds and her husband's nightmare of a best friend, still manages to make her way through everything with grace and poise and more intelligence than the whole of Scotland Yard. I also quite liked Stephen Fry's Mycroft, though possibly on the strength of the fact that I always love Stephen Fry. I'm also not sure whether he was supposed to be asexual and generally disinterested in society ladies, or if he was supposed to be gayer than a treeful of monkeys &c &c -- again, cos, Stephen Fry, this is a reasonable thing to assume of his characters. For whatever reason this contributed to the Holmes/Watson sharktext for me, but idk if that's remotely valid.

Lastly, I find it fascinating that Holmes bounces right back after Reichenbach. I mean, it makes sense, naturally they were going to have another sequel hook, and you don't really want to end on a depressing Holmes-is-dead note; that said, he seemed to have been gone perhaps a week, at that. And Watson realizes instantly that it was Holmes who sent the oxygen thingie, which means he probably didn't ever get past denial at Holmes' death. This isn't bad at all, it's just -- FIC, you guys, as usual my first reaction is that I want fic, right now, allll the post-film fic about Holmes tagging along on the honeymoon and his and Watson's plethora of issues (and then THREESOMES WITH MARY that is totally my endgame pairing in this universe) and and yes.

(Well, no, really lastly: the castle on Reichenbach Falls looked pretty much exactly like I'd pictured Loki and Darcy's evil fortress. I didn't start laughing delightedly in the theatre, but it was a near thing.)

So -- it was stupid, and what I expected, and it gave me lots and lots of feelings, and I certainly liked it enough to watch it again. And also I hope everyone will have the same Irene Adler headcanon I do, so I do not have to rage about it.

Comments

[tei]

THEY KILLED IRENE ADLER? I-- WHAT. JUST. Okay, I am glad I read this and spoiled myself for this movie so I can ragesplode quietly by myself now instead of in the theatre where there might be people who have no strong opinions on why killing Irene Adler is even worse than pairing her up with Holmes for convenience's sake.

I guess I want basically the same thing that you do for these movies though; some excellent moments. (And, as Rossini said of Wagner, terrible quarter-hours. Ah well.) I am glad to hear Reichenbach Falls was a good one, because it is close to my heart. (And, as much as I am still yearning for a version that dares to end it there, I was not expecting this to be it, so I am not particularly disappointed that Watson didn`t have long to wait.)

AND I AM EXCITED FOR MYCROFT. And I shall share your Adler headcanon!

[aria]

I basically spent about fifteen minutes after they'd killed her failing to pay attention to the plot because I was so busy going "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?" It was so poorly executed and stupid and FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. But at least I found it to be the only really terrible offense the film made? (I mean, I'm sure there are other offenses, it was just the only one that really bothered me.)

There were many excellent moments, though! I spent quite a while near the end clutching at my face with joy and FEELINGS, which is really all that I demand of my media, and a lot of it was because of Reichenbach Falls. It was quite good, and possibly better because you can see it coming miles away and so go NOOO for quite some time whilst waiting for it.

MYCROFT IS ADORBS. Also naked an astonishingly large portion of his screentime. But I do not mind, Stephen Fry is delightful whether or not he is absentmindedly not wearing clothing.

[surexit]

OH IRENE ADLER NO.

shirtless RDJ smeared with makeup being totally competent and projecting emotional desperation in Watson's general direction

Ngh.

I love the idea of sharktext, omg.

I need to figure out when this is coming out in Japan.

[aria]

I just. RAGEFACE. My headcanon is the only acceptable canon. (Which I never thought I would type, but then no one has actually killed Irene Adler before.)

I may be overselling the shirtless smeared in makeup with competency and desperation thing! I mean, all of that happens, but lots of it is ridiculous so I cannot guarantee that you will find it as smoulderingly hot as I did.

Sharktext is so useful for those times when everyone involved acknowledges it's going on but people who only allow themselves to see straightness carry on doing so.

I hope you are able to see it soon!

[surexit]

INTERNET SAYS 10 MARCH WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK. :(:(:(:(

[katewrites]

Yeah, I had the same reaction to Irene's death. And I kept expecting it to be... smarter? Like, she'd faked her death or he'd been keeping her locked up and she'd break out, etc. It just didn't make sense to me that she'd go through the whole ordering new tea and then drink out of any of the cups on the table.

In my head, they're all in a flexible poly relationship where Mary and Watson live together and Holmes and Irene come and go as they want.

[aria]

Oof, yeah. At least I accepted that the film was being dumb and she wasn't coming back, but I wish you'd been right. I just. HOW WAS THAT EVEN NECESSARY.

I do like the notion of them all being in a flexible poly relationship, though! It might take some doing, though; this Holmes is really, astonishingly passive-aggressive, and he needs to get through that if those kids are gonna make it work.

[januar]

You might like Diurnal, a John/Sherlock/Irene/Mary fic.

[katewrites]

This is SO GOOD.

Also, I just talked to my mother who's convinced Irene is alive. She said, "Well, they have to have a third movie, so we know what happened to that girl."

Me, "Uh, she's dead."

Mom, "No, he didn't say that. He said she got TB."

[luzula]

I read the spoilers even though I haven't seen it yet, and I'm kind of glad I did. Now I'm prepared! (For Irene's death, that is. FAIL!!!)

[aria]

Yeah, it's probably best to go in with the warning of that particular massive fail. It's still enjoyable and full of great moments if kind of stupid, though!

[daphnie_1]

I did spend about 15 minutes after it going:

'...'

Because I don't think I had quite processed what I had just seen.

[aria]

Heh. In what sense? There are so many things in that film to be inarticulate about!

[daphnie_1]

In specific Irene and the ending. But I did enjoy it! Quite a bit actually. I thought it was quite a lot of fun provided I remind myself it isn't trying to be the books.

(also? I thought Mycroft was meant to be asexual but then I'm ace myself and I read aceness in my media with the slightest provocation XD)

[januar]

I am completely there with your Irene Adler headcanon.

[aria]

YAY. It is really the best way to go with that, I think.

[sophia_sol]

...wow. Welp, I am glad to be spoilered about Irene Adler's death because it means I can get all my rage under control beforehand and walk into the theatre with firm headcanon in place to deal with it. Taking your headcanon, methinks, with much thanks.

[aria]

Yeeeah, I was making so much OH NO YOU DIDN'T, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS face in the theatre. Hopefully going in armed with headcanon should help!

[alice_pike]

Finally got around to seeing this, and well, I'd write a reaction, but you've SAID EVERYTHING. From Irene to Sim to the surprisingly texty nature of the Holmes/Watson. (The dancing! I was grinning like an idiot but waiting for there to be scandal, too).

And that look between them at the end, what even was that. ALL MY FEELINGS, right? All of them.

[aria]

Yesss. SO MANY FEELINGS. (And a surprising lack of scandal at the dancing! Does the entire international community just know that Sherlock Holmes is a big eccentric queer and leave him to it?)