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help, I've tripped into a fandom and I can't get up
...I seem to be watching this show as it airs now, which means I am probably letting myself in for a lot of grief. I'm also incapable of thinking of it as a show that actually happens to people, but since it is, the polite thing to do is spoiler-cut, I believe. I feel a bit weird having specific episode comments when I don't have that many ~feelings, but back in seasons four and five I was still pretending that I didn't, and therefore made no excited rambling posts. ANYWAY.
SAM WINCHESTER, CUT YOUR HAIR.
DEAN WINCHESTER, CURB YOURBUDDING ALCOHOLISM.
I am pleased to see that Sam continues to be the more emotionally stable one despite having way more psychotically weird stuff happen to him! My love for Sam has crept up on me, so I still feel a bit startled every time I want to draw sparkly hearts around him, but basically the moment he stopped having sadfaces about ~not being normal~, he became GREAT. Now he has Lucifer hallucinations and is still keeping it together better than Dean because -- well, Sam may have a lot of problems, but viciously hating himself isn't one of them.
Meanwhile, man, all my Dean feelings are still weird and tangled and inarticulate. Someday I will talk about Dean coherently! But today is not that day, so instead I will just observe that this episode did weird things to my stubborn headcanon. My stubborn headcanon comes from that glorious place early in season four where Sam tries to get Dean to talk about Hell, and Dean just stares at him bleakly and says, "There aren't words," because it meant we got to fill in the horrors ourselves! And my, um, favorite Hell as presented in fiction is from Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, in a story called "Other People," where, basically, Hell is yourself. There's physical torture first, but then comes the bit where you have to go back over everything you've ever done wrong or regretted in life, moment by agonizing moment, for eternity. And this notion fits very well into the world of Supernatural! And maybe it's just me, but that sounds so much worse than being tortured for a bit by Alastair and then doing some torturing for him, though far be it from me to deprive the world of Christopher Heyerdahl, and I guess the symmetry of the seal-openings wouldn't have worked either. Whatever. My point is, this new episode, and how far they didn't take the concept of the self as its own worst punishment, means that I wish for that headcanon to be proper canon even more now. Alas.
Also, sometimes Supernatural's flashback montages of moving emotion work for me. Like Sam's flashbacks to him and Dean and the Impala before he overcame Lucifer? That one worked for me but good, like, I watched it three or four times in a row and chewed on my knuckles in joy. Aaand then sometimes the montages don't work, like in this episode, which could have been called Dean Has Manpain About Fridged Ladies. I am so happy there was more Jo! But fuck do I wish any of it was actually about Jo, and not about Dean Winchester's sad pretty face. I love his pretty face, but the only emotion you are invoking here is RAGE.
Eh, I knew what I signed up for. Anyway at the end they had a heart-to-heart over the Impala and drove off into the sunset, and it's kind of nice to not have exhausting arc plot for a while.
SAM WINCHESTER, CUT YOUR HAIR.
DEAN WINCHESTER, CURB YOUR
I am pleased to see that Sam continues to be the more emotionally stable one despite having way more psychotically weird stuff happen to him! My love for Sam has crept up on me, so I still feel a bit startled every time I want to draw sparkly hearts around him, but basically the moment he stopped having sadfaces about ~not being normal~, he became GREAT. Now he has Lucifer hallucinations and is still keeping it together better than Dean because -- well, Sam may have a lot of problems, but viciously hating himself isn't one of them.
Meanwhile, man, all my Dean feelings are still weird and tangled and inarticulate. Someday I will talk about Dean coherently! But today is not that day, so instead I will just observe that this episode did weird things to my stubborn headcanon. My stubborn headcanon comes from that glorious place early in season four where Sam tries to get Dean to talk about Hell, and Dean just stares at him bleakly and says, "There aren't words," because it meant we got to fill in the horrors ourselves! And my, um, favorite Hell as presented in fiction is from Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, in a story called "Other People," where, basically, Hell is yourself. There's physical torture first, but then comes the bit where you have to go back over everything you've ever done wrong or regretted in life, moment by agonizing moment, for eternity. And this notion fits very well into the world of Supernatural! And maybe it's just me, but that sounds so much worse than being tortured for a bit by Alastair and then doing some torturing for him, though far be it from me to deprive the world of Christopher Heyerdahl, and I guess the symmetry of the seal-openings wouldn't have worked either. Whatever. My point is, this new episode, and how far they didn't take the concept of the self as its own worst punishment, means that I wish for that headcanon to be proper canon even more now. Alas.
Also, sometimes Supernatural's flashback montages of moving emotion work for me. Like Sam's flashbacks to him and Dean and the Impala before he overcame Lucifer? That one worked for me but good, like, I watched it three or four times in a row and chewed on my knuckles in joy. Aaand then sometimes the montages don't work, like in this episode, which could have been called Dean Has Manpain About Fridged Ladies. I am so happy there was more Jo! But fuck do I wish any of it was actually about Jo, and not about Dean Winchester's sad pretty face. I love his pretty face, but the only emotion you are invoking here is RAGE.
Eh, I knew what I signed up for. Anyway at the end they had a heart-to-heart over the Impala and drove off into the sunset, and it's kind of nice to not have exhausting arc plot for a while.
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This show absolutely kills me. On the one hand I like it because it's easy to like and amusing and I like my weekly Monster of the Week show with plot and on the other hand? ALL OF MY RAGE AND ANGER. Jesus, this show. I have only been able to make my way to season 4 because Im watching every episode in order - it's a thing - and I keep having to stop because it gets too much and I know you love dean but I want to hit him about the headspace (I know compared to a lot of this shows issues this is minor but: if you uses the word 'bitch' one.more.time.) except I adore Castiel more than I have words for.
And sometimes the fact that it IS fun and endearing is made more annoying by it's failure. SPN - WHY YOU MAKE ME HATE AND LOVE YOU.