harry potter feelings post, part one

[aria]

So while presumably a large fraction of everyone else are off at midnight showings of Deathly Hallows, I ... have spent all day rewatching the first seven films. (Haha, "the first seven," I started far too late in the day and when I'm finished with Goblet of Fire I am SLEEPING. And then waking up at 4:30 to do the last three because I am just that mad.)

Fuck, I have SO MANY FEELINGS.

I haven't been properly in Harry Potter fandom since I was, I don't know, fifteen? It's been ages, anyway. And in some ways I had a weirdly narrow fandom experience; I read a bit of everything, but in my heart I was a Marauders girl, so I missed out on a bewilderingly large array of things that the fic about Harry's generation had to offer. My feelings, though, are still about nearly everything. I can recite pretty much all the iconic lines from the books that made it into the films. I can remember all the gaps and implications that got lost in translation. I care about all the characters, all of them, and I care about this -- this crazy thing that shaped my life at a formative age, and introduced me to fandom, and allowed me to find a safe space when discovering my queerness, and basically all the things that people have to say about Harry Potter fandom because they are true.

On a rewatch, here are the things that have stayed the same: I still bewilderingly love Dan Radcliffe's Harry. I am still sad about the various reductions of Ron, and my inner child, who desperately wanted to be Hermione, is sure that that isn't my Hermione. I want gobs more backstory, and I hate those shrunken head things, but the Time-Turner sequence is perfection. Oh my gosh Dumbledore is a dick, and it is delightful. Hermione's Yule Ball dress is the wrong damn color. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT NEVILLE, ALL THE TIME, NEVILLE BE MY BOYFRIEND. The less massive investment I have in the books, the more I love the movies, so Order of the Phoenix through Deathly Hallows are pretty damn great.

And here are the things that are different: every time Snape is on screen, I am basically flailing like a crazy person, because SNAAAPE. Emma Watson's Hermione is a totally valid iteration of Hermione, and I am very fond of her. Branagh's Lockhart makes me laugh like mad. I want Malfoys on my screen at all times. Having dealt with the fact that the Azkaban film is never going to be the stupid perfection that is the book, I am now free to see Remus and Sirius as a perfectly good Remus and Sirius, and let my heart break again. Cedric Diggory's tendency to hang around in trees is screamingly funny now, oh Cedric. The Harry/Draco bits are amazing. I am actually genuinely no longer bothered by the excess of Harry/Hermione moments, because I am miles past shipwars, and all the Harry/Ron/Hermione, yes please. (Goooo to the Yule Ball together, Harry and Ron! Shut up shut up.) Actually, screw it, I ship EVERYTHING now. No one is surprised. It is delightful, seriously.

I guess when the fervency of investment is covered with the fuzzy blanket of nostalgia, and then I engage with the films the way I engage with my current fandoms, everything is great. I kept tearing up during these movies. I think that when I see Deathly Hallows tomorrow, I'll need to bring tissues.

Comments

[sophia_sol]

...I am FASCINATED by this. I mean -- you can tell by the fact that I am writing this comment that I am another one that didn't go out to the midnight showing of the movie. And this is because I have always been too invested in the books (and my headcanon) and the movies are wrongwrongwrong as a result, but -- I wonder. If your love for and investment in the movies has grown that much, then maybe I ought to bother with this movie too? And maybe actually watch the other movies? I mean I did go out and see DH part 1, but that was mostly accidental....

DIFFICULT LIFE DECISIONS.

[aria]

I dunno! I mean, really the reason I am rewatching all the movies rather than rereading all the books is that I desperately need my closure and the movies are faster! Also, I have enough distance from my FERVENT FANNISH LOVE for Harry Potter that can ... appreciate them, I guess? I still have not a clue whether they are actually good films, but I have gone from nitpicking to nostalgic fondness.

[sophia_sol]

I can't even tell whether I have enough distance from my FERVENT FANNISH LOVE to appreciate them or not, because I feel all blase and stuff about Harry Potter, like, half the time I won't even read fic that I've seen recced highly, but then I get into arguments with my sister about the relative quality of the epilogue and I have all these FEELINGS and IDEK. *headdesk*

[yasaman]

I am actually genuinely no longer bothered by the excess of Harry/Hermione moments, because I am miles past shipwars

I am apparently nowhere near as over the shipwars as I thought I was, because every time I hear about H/Hr type moments in the movies, I am filled with RAGE. I don't think I'm ever going to get over my dislike of Kloves as a screenwriter. H/R/Hr though: yes please! I want so much more Trio fic.

Anyway, rather than become more easygoing or whatever in my HP fandom dotage, I have instead become even more entrenched in my opinions, it's ridiculous.

[aria]

See, I still hate Kloves as a screenwriter too, because he clearly has some sort of deep weird anti-Ron bias, and I have an equally deep pro-Ron bias! I think it's just that I'm so used to multishipping now, and would so rather have ALL THE SHIPS than go YOUR SHIP IS WRONG, that my kneejerk reaction is not "grar H/Hr!!" the way it was when I was younger, and is instead "H/R/Hr! Solve it with threesomes!"

Having entrenched HP opinions is totally the way to go, though. :D