this post the result of too many concurrent fandoms

[aria]

One of the things I am enjoying about Smallville is getting to play the "spot how other late '90s/early '00s shows also did a variation on this plot" game, although usually 'other shows' really means 'Buffy.' (Imagine my amused eye-rolling when Lana accidentally joins a vampire sorority presided over by Buffy Saunders, and James-Marsters-the-professor takes a moment to seriously declare, "Clark, there's no such thing as vampires.") When it's not taking cheap shots, though, Smallville does delightful things like the bodyswap episode (Lionel Luthor clearly beats out both Faith and Callisto-from-Xena in the People You Don't Want Possessing Your Body Awards) or the one-person-split-into-two-bodies episode (Dorky Xander vs. Competent Xander < Idealist Lex vs. Evil Lex. Sorry, Xander).

It probably sounds like my point is that I am a big fan of the Luthors (which is true! I am also a fan of the Blacks, and the Horsemen, and I'm sure I'd be a big fan of the Master's family if we'd ever met them, &c) but my actual point is that I started thinking about how cool personality-aspects-in-different-bodies episodes are. And how the aspects that get split are different depending on the character! For instance, in Buffy the split was meant to hit Buffy herself, to turn her into Ordinary Buffy and Super-Slayer, but when it got Xander, since he didn't have superpowers, it split him down a competence line. I'm not sure it would have worked the anticipated way on Buffy either, though! I think it would have more likely turned her into Insecure Lovesick Teenager Buffy and Competent Self-Sacrificing Leadership Buffy, and they would have both still had Slayer powers. On the other hand, with Willow we'd probably get Sweet Nerdy Willow and Dark Willow, so don't point personality-splitting radiation at just anyone, okay.

The problem is that once I start, I want to point personality-splitting radiation at everyone just to see what happens. Earnest, idealist Delenn vs. kill-you-mercilessly Delenn! Do-anything-for-a-story Chloe Sullivan vs. do-anything-for-her-friends Chloe! Awkward paternalistic librarian Giles vs. Ripper! Patient, dispensing-backhand-wisdom Methos vs. shanking-you-with-his-second-sword Methos! I keep thinking of more, but I will stop now. (If anyone wants to continue in comments, though, man, I could do this for hours.)

I wonder if Clark would turn into Ordinary Farm Boy Clark and Superman. Somehow, I think this works about as well as Ordinary Buffy and Super-Slayer. It is much more likely that he would turn into saves-his-friends-at-all-costs while smiling like a total sweetie Clark vs. some lying asshat. It's even worse than Merlin! I want to call out Gaius and Jonathan Kent and punch them for impressing on their wards the importance of secrecy unto sheer stupidity. God, Morgana and Lex should form a fucking support group.

Comments

[feverbeats]

Huh, I didn't know that! It's especially surprising, given that she was originally intended to be Lois. But OH MY GOD, WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A BLACK LOIS? I mean, we had a black Pete! Of course, we had a black Pete who was reduced to comic relief and then left the show, but still. :\

OH GOD YES I SAW IT AGES AGO AND FORGOT. It's pretty much the truest video ever.

I--okay. Damn it, Aria.

Lex's dad is in Gotham doing business, and Lex has no idea why he's been allowed to tag along. He's even been forced into a nice suit--straps and chains hidden under his, in case he sees a club he needs to hit up--and brought to a fancy party at some asshole's house.

The house, who looks only a few years older than Lex, is the one Lex's dad is doing business with. He shoots Lex a sleazy fake smile, like can see right through Lex's suit.

Lex would be okay with that.

He ends up in a window seat while the host--Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Lex things--is entertaining (but not nearly as entertaining as he thinks he is). He can hear sirens outside pretty constantly, so all the things his fathers says about Gotham are probably true.

"Hey. Alexander, right?"

Lex looks up. He fucking hates his name. "Wayne, right?" he mimics, letting his lip curl.

But Bruce Wayne is already looking away from Lex, past him, though the window at the night sky. He frowns.

[aria]

Oh, jfc, Chloe originally was going to be Lois? In that case, I am going to punch the showrunners in the FACE.

sdkdfsjd am I allowed to ship Lex/Bruce? I am allowed to do this, right?

[feverbeats]

I have definitely heard this! I believe it's the case, yes.

FUCKING ALWAYS. There's this amazing fanvid to Nine Inch Nails' "Something I Can Never Have" about them, and I can't fucking find it, but I have it on my hard drive.

Aaaaargh now I want to actually write this fic. I think Lex gets kidnapped by the Joker or someone and Bruce has to save him.

[aria]

Okay, it is now my goddamn canon. Except that I like the other Lois a little tiny bit! ARGH.

I think Lex gets kidnapped by the Joker or someone and Bruce has to save him.

Of course Lex gets kidnapped by the Joker. He ends up duct-taped or chained or both to something, and then bleeds a bit, prettily. Hold on, he just has to pencil it into his weekly schedule.

[feverbeats]

I knooooooow. :(

Nghhhhh why is Lex so good at being in pain/danger?

[aria]

Uh, because when they are not shattering my Chloe-is-Lois dreams, the producers actually LOVE ME? That, or they instinctually understand that while perhaps a cross-section of their target audience wants to bone/be Lana and her huge, huge eyes and her ability to make everyone on the show be in love with her, the producers also know that some of their target demographic likes morally ambiguous smirky rich boys who hurt real pretty. That is weirdly specific, AND YET THEY MANAGE.

[feverbeats]

I think they are vaguely aware of that portion of the audience and they like to facepunch them. :( :(

[aria]

Don't tell me they don't love us! by which I mean, not actively think we're dumb! I am pretty sure due South remains the only show where the incredible, intentional queer was there just because it was there, and not as a stunt and a way to secretly laugh at Those Silly Fangirls.

I hope Michael Rosenbaum, at least, knows that he was some damn fine fanservice.

[feverbeats]

Oh, bb. :( You did not get to enjoy the times during which s4 onward were airing, when people basically felt like the producers were slappling Clex fans in the face every episode. And I'm not sure I believe that. I do think it's a show in which the producers were singularly unaware of a certain portion of their fanbase.

[aria]

Mm, well, s4 is where I start to feel a little frowny-face myself, and I'm not even doing things chronologically, so I can well imagine. I do think that "Clex what?" is probably a lot better than "oh lol, those girls and their slash fictions!" thing that some other shows do, which is wrong on many counts and makes me feel a bit squodgy.

Um, that got a bit serious! In conclusion the amazing thing about Red is that Lex totally checks Clark out and then the camera does that panning-up-Clark's-body, checking-him-out thing. It is PRICELESS.

[feverbeats]

FOR EXAMPLE, SPN. JUST, YOU KNOW, FOR EXAMPLE. Ughhhh fuck I hate SPN so much.

I REMEMBER THAT! Ohhhh, I love "Red" so much.

[aria]

HAHA HOWEVER COULD YOU TELL WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. God, I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I was actually invested in that fandom.

IT IS SO GREAT. IDK if you care about Television Without Pity, but the TWoP SV recaps are cracking me the hell up. Every week they award a Gayest Look of the Episode (usually to Clark or Lex, but not always! my favorite was how in Onyx they awarded it to Lex looking at himself <333) and the one for Red was AMAZING:

Lex turns and sees Clark -- really sees him for what seems like the first time. Oh my. Open-mouthed, Lex looks Clark up from toes to head. Clark is turned around. Lex doesn't need super-vision to get a good look at that ass. Lex continues talking, but he's still staring. Lex squints because really, the pleasure is too much. It is the Gayest Look of the Episode. I think it may be the Gayest Look in all of the cosmos.

IN CONCLUSION, YES. :D

[feverbeats]

True story: Dean has become such an abhorrent character than I haven't made it through the most recent season. Well, there is one way I think I can manage, and that is by pretending that Dean is ftm and overcompensating by being a raging sexist asshole. I mean, I was pretending that anyway, but it'll certainly be useful now.

LOL I MOSTLY HATE TWOP. Bunch of pretentious fuckheads, mostly. But that excerpt is only true.

[gehayi]

Deanna Winchester. Oh, yeah. And you know, Deanna being a raging sexist asshole would make SENSE, because I think John would have very very strict notions about what was male behavior and what was not, so Deanna would be constantly trying to act ultra-macho to send the message to John that "Yeah, hello Dad, I am not your tomboy daughter, I am your son no matter what biology says," and even though John is now dead, by now being a raging sexist jerk has become a habit for Deanna-called-Dean.

(I don't even LIKE SPN and I know this makes sense.)

[feverbeats]

GOD, YES, EXACTLY. Um, there's that one bit in s4 when someone--I think Alastair--says, "Not quite the man your father wanted you to be," and I was just like, "OH, GOD, DEAN." Because clearly I have made myself believe this awesome fanon.

[innocentsmith]

Threadjacking to say: OMG, have you seen that one comic where the Joker does kidnap Lex? The one that inspired this astolat fic?

"Wow. A half-naked President being tortured by the Joker. One usually has to surf the web for images like this." - one of the superheroes trying to figure out if they should intervene or not.

If you haven't, basically: Joker wants info from Lex, so he has killed Lex's secret servicemen, tied Lex up, and beat the tar out of him while cooing crazily. Lex is unimpressed. Finally, when he's half-dead of torture, we get this.

And that is why Lex pwns.

[aria]

Th-that's ...

I have NO WORDS.

That scanned page may have just made me shriek with unholy glee. BATMAN WON'T TAKE YOU TO THE PROM. Oh my god, how is that real? IS that real? Seriously.

[innocentsmith]

It is TOTALLY real. XD

I just wish the Scans_Daily post that had all the Joker vs. Lex scenes from that issue were still up. It was epic. Lex starts off very cool and professional and contemptuous, and then Joker trips his daddy issues and Lex BLOWS UP at him and starts yelling insults. It's all AMAZINGLY catty and great. (As is that fic, which I totally recommend.)

[innocentsmith]

Oh hey. Found a bit more: fifth down in this post. This is right after the daddy-issue tripping.

[aria]

Oh my god, it's a whole POST about Lex being great! Thank you for the link. :DDD

[innocentsmith]

The Lex Luthor tag there is pretty evenly divided between "OMG, Lex is the BEST!" and "OMG, Lex is the WORST!" I think this, however, may be the most adorable Lex ever: I never run out of thoughts!