ever on and on

[aria]

Aten't dead! In fact I have been posting to both tumblr and twitter with reasonable frequency, but my life in 140 characters or gifs with capslock commentary is not ... particularly in depth. So: hello! I am here to warn you all that Martin Freeman's face has hypnotic powers of suggestion, because my recent fannish activities have fallen into one of these two categories:

1. rewatch Sherlock/rewatch the Granada Holmes series/desperately seek post-Reichenbach fic/reread the Paradox series & all of Katie Forsythe's fic in a fit of madness/gaze upon Sherlock vids/curse the heavens that I have to wait so long for the next series

2. reread the Hobbit/flop about and make joyful noises about how fucking perfect Freeman's Bilbo is going to be/watch the Hobbit teaser trailer about a million times/rewatch all the cast bits in the Extended Edition Lord of the Rings DVDs/read all the Mark Reads entries of the Hobbit & what he has so far of Lord of the Rings/accidentally trip and fall into the first few chapters of Fellowship, which is fair enough as I haven't done a proper reread in three years

I am combating this White Dudes Doing Stuff thing by working on my novel that has basically one white dude doing stuff, and plenty of ladies and nonwhite dudes doing stuff, which is great! But the fannish channel is all hobbits and detectives right now. (Although no hobbit detectives! There seems to be a pretty low crime rate in the Shire, but I really hope there's a hobbit detective in Bree or something.)

Meanwhile I want to pull out something that I posted last time I was reading Lord of the Rings, because it was SUCH FUN, and it is the One Ring game! The One Ring game basically goes: think of (a) character(s) from a fandom other than LotR, and figure out what would happen if they were given the One Ring and charged to destroy it. So, for example: Neville Longbottom would destroy that sucker; Andrew Wells from Buffy would hide in a dark room with it and call it his Precious and be totally useless; Benton Fraser would TAKE OVER THE WORLD. &c. Give me characters! I will tell you what they do! Epic quests and evil overlords for all!

Comments

[srevans]

oh ok then obviously: Sherlock

(which of course means you have to account for John in the response)

[aria]

Oooh, that is -- actually quite difficult! Pre-John Sherlock probably uses the Ring to make people appreciate and understand him, and it consumes him; post-John Sherlock does his damn best to destroy the Ring, not because he viscerally understands that it needs to be done but because John says so and he knows that John understands this matter much better than he does. I think we might end up with a situation where it comes to the point of casting it into the fire and Sherlock can't make himself let go, but he'd cast himself in instead. I expect that at this point John would knock him over the head and chuck the Ring in, because John's good at last-minute saves like that. And then they go home in time for tea!

[travels_in_time]

I would just like to drop this here: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5880.html?thread=21203704#t21203704

[such_heights]

oooh oooh what do you think the various members of the Pond family would do with it?

[aria]

Oh well River: ALL SHALL LOVE HER AND DESPAIR, come on, in the place of a Dark Lord we would absolutely have a queen.

Rory: he just soldiers on and gets it done! Unless of course their opponents realize that Amy is Rory's weak spot; if anything happened to her I have no doubt that Rory would suddenly stop thinking of the Ring as the evil thing to get rid of and immediately utilize it as the Ultimate Weapon to Get Amy Back, because as we well know, Ponds are scary when their loved ones are threatened.

Amy: might be an excellent unexpected best bet! Everyone would assume that she'd succumb to the Ring's power, but she's so ridiculously stubborn and resilient, she'd barge right through and get it done. I expect that when it came time she wouldn't be able to throw it in, but she'd get all the way to Mt Doom, at the very least.

[luzula]

Benton Fraser would TAKE OVER THE WORLD

Tell me more about this? *chin on hands*

[aria]

Ah! Well, you see, Fraser would understand that the Ring is evil and must be destroyed, of course, and he'd do his absolute best, but -- you know how Gandalf refused to take the Ring, even to keep it safe, because he'd end up using it from a desire to do good, and would in the process become terrible? That's exactly what would happen with Fraser.

(Also, er, I do not know if you have seen this, but back when my last Lord of the Rings reread collided with my enthusiastic new passion for due South, I wrote a tragically-unfinished fusion fic in which Kowalski ends up with the Ring; it is here if you'd like to see it.)

[alice_pike]

This One Ring game is the best thing I've ever seen, methinks. And I see His Dark Materials in your interests, so I'm giving you Will Parry! (And/or/with Lyra).

[aria]

It is SUCH A FUN GAME, and would probably be an excellent conversation starter at fannish parties.

Will! I think he would actually be a really excellent Ringbearer; he's actually a lot like Frodo, in terms of being odd and quiet and doing what needs to get done. (We shall leave aside jokes about missing fingers, as those are probably in bad taste.) And Lyra would be the best of Sams -- if Will needed her to, she could take up the Ring for a short while and give it right back -- but if she was tasked with the Ring herself I ... suspect the world might be a bit doomed. Actually if Lyra was given the Ring she'd probably grow up to be very much like a more effective Mrs. Coulter.

...now I'm imagining Mrs. Coulter or Lord Asriel getting the Ring and THE WORLDS WOULD BE DOOMED.

[travels_in_time]

Sam Tyler. And also Gene Hunt. Together and/or separately, I don't care.

[aria]

Ooh, those take some thinking!

Sam ... would do his very best and be a stubborn bastard about the whole thing, but he'd succumb to the Ring before the end, and I suspect he's more towards the stroking-it-in-the-shadows end of the scale than the taking-over-the-world end.

Gene, no one would ever give the Ring to, because they'd expect him to get corrupted right off. But actually he'd just barge right through and destroy it.

[gehayi]

Okay...what happens if the One Ring falls into the world of Batman? (I'd love to see how the women of the Bat-verse manage things. I rather heart Cassandra Cain and Oracle and Stephanie Brown.)

[aria]

I actually confess that my Batman knowledge is sketchy enough that I probably wouldn't provide very good answers. But I'm quite curious as to what they'd be! So if you'd want to give a few Batman characters a go, I'd love to hear it.

[surexit]

Xander!

Or Ray Vecchio.

[aria]

Xander! Ohhh Xander. Let's be honest, he'd make jokes and pretend to be fine and do his best, and within a week he'd be totally doomed, crouching in corners and calling it his precious.

I -- suspect Vecchio would know himself well enough to just avoid having to take the Ring. But if he did, he would surprise himself greatly by getting all the way to Mount Doom before failing to give it up.

[anekdot]

TOPH, KATARA, SOKKA, OR ZUKO

[aria]

WHAT IS THIS "OR" NONESENSE I WILL TALK ABOUT THEM ALL

Okay, so Toph -- oh man Toph is my baby, I love her so much, but I regret to say that she'd underestimate the Ring and then end up TAKING OVER THE WORLD. Wait did I say regret? I for one welcome our new Toph overlords.

Katara! Katara does the Frodo thing -- she's a really great Ringbearer and basically resists it until the last second. At which point hopefully someone else is there to incapacitate her and destroy the Ring.

Sokka! Uh let's be honest, I'd so watch the Sokka-and-Katara road trip to destroy the One Ring, and if Sokka was Katara's Sam, everything would work out excellently. If, however, Sokka was Ringbearer, I'm pretty sure he would succumb to its shiny ways and sit in dark caves muttering to himself and stroking it.

Zuko, oh man, I want to say that s3!Zuko would not be a failboat, but Zuko is ALWAYS a failboat. Basically he'd think he could RULE THE FIRE NATION WITH THIS GREAT WEAPON and ... then he'd end up in a cave like Sokka. OH ZUKO.

[northeto.livejournal.com]

Garibaldi. :) Or Laura Roslin.

[aria]

Ohhh Garibaldi. No one give the Ring to Garibaldi! It'll take him about a week of really earnest struggle, and then he'll start being really alarming and hiding and calling it his precious.

Roslin! C'mon, do you even have to ask? IN THE PLACE OF A DARK LORD YOU SHALL HAVE A QUEEN!

[oliviacirce]

METHOS.

[aria]

OH MY GODDDD WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS IT'S LIKE WITH ONE WORD YOU CAN SPAWN IN ME THE DESIRE TO WRITE FUCKING EPICS

WHICH I BET YOU ALREADY KNEW

Um but okay there is a five thousand year kaleidoscope of answers to this question! I think Methos' will is absolutely always such that he would never just break down under the Ring's power; there is no world where he sits muttering over it in dark places. Obviously there's a time -- of a thousand years, and probably of over a thousand years, let's say at least five hundred afterward, and probably beforehand for as long as Methos' memory goes back -- in which Methos would take the Ring, and become Sauron.

(And now my mind goes on the world's most bewildering tailspin: Methos is with Kronos when he learns the art of ringmaking from ... whoever the elder Immortals are, and becomes the Highlander-universe's equivalent of Sauron. HEY BRAIN KRONOS IS NOT ACTUALLY MORGOTH.)

If somehow Methos-as-he-is-now comes into possession of the Ring, he wouldn't rule with it, nor change anything with it; but neither would he go on a quest to destroy it. I don't know if he'd find it laughable or potentially useful, but I do know that it would be a terrible temptation, and he'd just -- keep it, hidden, while he goes slowly more brittle. We can only pray that Amanda steals it and then, idk, Joe throws it into a volcano, Joe is the only person in that whole universe I trust to not go suddenly power-mad.

WELL AS USUAL I HAVE ALL THE METHOS THOUGHTS.

[laeria]

What would Chel (and Miguel and Tulio) do?

This is SUCH AN AWESOME GAME. Swiping it, if that's okay with you!

[aria]

Hah, oh man. With Chel I'm pretty sure that IN THE PLACE OF A DARK LORD YOU WILL HAVE A QUEEN! Tulio is quite doomed and ends up alone in a cave. Miguel ... probably makes it all the way to Mount Doom before he discovers he can't give it up.

Swipe away! It isn't even a proper meme, just a silly thing I like to bat around with friends, so spreading it is all to the good. :)

of course, there's an SGA story already

[mecurtin]

The Best-Laid Plans, by rhymer23.

Silence fell over Bag End; not even the sound of Radek's shears could be heard. At length, Rodney raised his head. "Oh. Have you finished? I dozed off in your two hours of wordy exposition. One Ring, evil, Mordor, kings and history… yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. And they say I like the sound of my own voice. At least I say things worth listening to."

There are some forces you just can't stop.

[ladyjane]

Permission to join the fun?

BtVS/Angel (TV only, not the comic)
Giles or Tara Or Faith (We KNOW what would happen to Willow. *shudder*)

[aria]

Sure! :D

Giles: is probably wise enough to resist taking the Ring at all, and will hand it off to someone better suited to the task. If he had to take it, though, I suspect that he'd be quite good at resisting it until the end.

Tara: I think she'd make a pretty good Ringbearer! She'd need someone there to encourage her and help uphold her spirits, and that makes me a little nervous because of course Willow would want to go with her and ... things would go downhill pretty fast. But yes, Tara could probably destroy it.

Faith: ohhh man, okay, I am pretty sure in the place of a Dark Lord we would have a queen.