ever on and on

[aria]

Aten't dead! In fact I have been posting to both tumblr and twitter with reasonable frequency, but my life in 140 characters or gifs with capslock commentary is not ... particularly in depth. So: hello! I am here to warn you all that Martin Freeman's face has hypnotic powers of suggestion, because my recent fannish activities have fallen into one of these two categories:

1. rewatch Sherlock/rewatch the Granada Holmes series/desperately seek post-Reichenbach fic/reread the Paradox series & all of Katie Forsythe's fic in a fit of madness/gaze upon Sherlock vids/curse the heavens that I have to wait so long for the next series

2. reread the Hobbit/flop about and make joyful noises about how fucking perfect Freeman's Bilbo is going to be/watch the Hobbit teaser trailer about a million times/rewatch all the cast bits in the Extended Edition Lord of the Rings DVDs/read all the Mark Reads entries of the Hobbit & what he has so far of Lord of the Rings/accidentally trip and fall into the first few chapters of Fellowship, which is fair enough as I haven't done a proper reread in three years

I am combating this White Dudes Doing Stuff thing by working on my novel that has basically one white dude doing stuff, and plenty of ladies and nonwhite dudes doing stuff, which is great! But the fannish channel is all hobbits and detectives right now. (Although no hobbit detectives! There seems to be a pretty low crime rate in the Shire, but I really hope there's a hobbit detective in Bree or something.)

Meanwhile I want to pull out something that I posted last time I was reading Lord of the Rings, because it was SUCH FUN, and it is the One Ring game! The One Ring game basically goes: think of (a) character(s) from a fandom other than LotR, and figure out what would happen if they were given the One Ring and charged to destroy it. So, for example: Neville Longbottom would destroy that sucker; Andrew Wells from Buffy would hide in a dark room with it and call it his Precious and be totally useless; Benton Fraser would TAKE OVER THE WORLD. &c. Give me characters! I will tell you what they do! Epic quests and evil overlords for all!

Comments

[such_heights]

oooooh, YES. Absolutely. And Martha standing in Rose's shadow fits, too.

Also, omg, the idea of Jack Harkness getting anywhere near the One Ring is frankly horrifying. I'd like to think he'd have the Aragorn-like common sense not to touch it with a bargepole, buuuut that depends on where in his timeline you fall I guess.

(Still pondering Donna and Mickey's respective roles in this, hmm.)

[aria]

Tbh I now want Donna and Mickey to be Merry and Pippin. Starting out feeling a bit useless, end up destroying the Witch King/Daleks and saving Gondor/London from Cybermen, that sort of thing.

[such_heights]

oh, DUDE. OBVIOUSLY. CONGRATS ON YOUR CORRECTNESS. Does that mean Donna and Mickey can be bros? And more to the point can someone write that fic anyway, LotR fusion aside? Because *____*

Also I want Martha to maybe take on Eowyn's role as well as Faramir's (shhhh it could work) so she and Donna can team up and take on the Witch King together, because best.

[aria]

YESSS, okay, excellent, I thought that was right but it is good to have an enthusiastic second opinion!

Oh man, though, if Martha is Eowyn and Faramir ... I actually really like that! Because it means that she saves herself from despair, that is pretty great and also an accurate description of Martha. I am also extremely in favor of Martha and Donna being battle buddies and taking down the Witch King together.

[tenlittlebullets]

Even more frightening: the thought of Ten getting the Ring. Nine would kill it with fire before it had a chance to tempt him, Eleven has enough good sense not to trust himself with it and would hand it off to Amy and Rory stat, but Ten... I give him thirty seconds and one noble, angsty, self-righteous refusal of absolute power before he just grabs it and goes on a permanent Waters of Mars bender.

[elisi]

I give him thirty seconds and one noble, angsty, self-righteous refusal of absolute power before he just grabs it and goes on a permanent Waters of Mars bender.
I was doing so well (nodding along etc), and then I got this far and now I'm helpless!!!! I have no idea if this image is more terrifying or hilarious - either way it's beyond awesome!

[aria]

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS 100% CORRECT. Ohhhh Ten.

Assuming a grownup Lyra.

[recessional]

Coming in from such_heights: I think the biggest issue with Lyra is whether or not you manage to convince her that the Ring is really evil and really must be destroyed.

Because if she really and truly believed that, the Ring wouldn't have a chance. This is LYRA. She is made of STUBBORN and LIES. If she decided the Ring wasn't going to get her, the Ring would fail to get her JUST BECAUSE SHE DECIDED - no virtue of her own, just NO I WILL NOT BE TAKEN OVER BY YOU I AM LYRA SILVERTONGUE AND YOU ARE JUST A STUPID LUMP OF GOLD.

On the other hand, if you haven't actually got her to throw herself into the fight with her entire being, the world is doomed.

[mecurtin]

See, I think Methos-now would (a) kill Duncan (temporarily!) to make sure *he* doesn't take it, because Duncan would be on a quick slide to be the Dark Judge, and then (b) persuade Joe to pick it up and head for Mt. Doom. Methos would come along, prepared to push Joe into the volcano at the end, if it comes to that.

Being a Dark Lord = boring. Living under a Dark Lord = even more boring. Been there, done both.

Re: Assuming a grownup Lyra.

[aria]

Ooh, a very good point! Yes, if Lyra was made to understand that the Ring was entirely evil and needed to be destroyed, NOT A CHANCE FOR THE RING. Otherwise, doom!

[aria]

COMPLETE AGREEMENT WITH ALL OF THIS. Have an internet!

Re: Assuming a grownup Lyra.

[recessional]

I mean, you'd have a wrecked and battered and broken Lyra at the end of it, because she'd just RIP HERSELF APART in her absolute refusal to let the Ring bend her to its will. She might even throw it into the fire and then just sort of sit down and wait for the flames to consume her and Pan, because she is so. goddamn. tired. now. and the idea of dissolving into atoms in the world of the dead sounds GREAT and besides, this is a fuckoff awesome story to tell the harpies, amirite?

But if you don't get her that bad, totally the road to hell becomes paved with good intentions, and eventually you have the Queen, not Dark but Beautiful and Terrible as the Dawn, assuming the Ring doesn't jump ship for someone else first.

[mecurtin]

I think Nanny would be the Tom Bombadil sort. It just wouldn't have a hold on her mind, she'd stick it inside one of the hideous souvenir mugs her family brings and the forget which one it was in. She's having a perfectly lovely time as it is, she doesn't need to be a "Queen" or anything. She has more fun just being Nanny.

And then Greebo, chasing some critter, would knock over the mug and swallow the ring. Hijinks would definitely ensue.

[astolat]

dude, I read this and now I am all, Methos of today would be one of the few characters who would slot into the Tom Bombadil role -- he would have zero interest in having the Ring himself (he does not need to give people MORE reason to want his head and/or other parts of his anatomy!); he would take it and keep it safe from the bad guys with enormous reluctance if begged harassed by Duncan to do so, but would be an extremely bad caretaker and would probably lose it one night down a sewer after drinking and "forget" about it, cough, at least until Duncan reproachfully cornered him and made him go hunting it out again.

(THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER)

[aria]

I still want to argue that Methos would always be a bit doomed with the Ring (see: when Kronos turns up and he backslides alarmingly) but I really like the notion that he's actually dealt with lots of way more evil things and it just has zero effect on him.

And really, someone should be like Tom Bombadil! Methos is an excellent candidate. (Um, now I'm ... imagining Methos and Tom Bombadil getting together for drinks and reminiscing and singing silly songs? They would totally do this.)

of course, there's an SGA story already

[mecurtin]

The Best-Laid Plans, by rhymer23.

Silence fell over Bag End; not even the sound of Radek's shears could be heard. At length, Rodney raised his head. "Oh. Have you finished? I dozed off in your two hours of wordy exposition. One Ring, evil, Mordor, kings and history… yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. And they say I like the sound of my own voice. At least I say things worth listening to."

There are some forces you just can't stop.

Re: Assuming a grownup Lyra.

[such_heights]

oh maaaaan, LYRA FEELINGS. <333

[ladyjane]

Permission to join the fun?

BtVS/Angel (TV only, not the comic)
Giles or Tara Or Faith (We KNOW what would happen to Willow. *shudder*)

[aria]

Sure! :D

Giles: is probably wise enough to resist taking the Ring at all, and will hand it off to someone better suited to the task. If he had to take it, though, I suspect that he'd be quite good at resisting it until the end.

Tara: I think she'd make a pretty good Ringbearer! She'd need someone there to encourage her and help uphold her spirits, and that makes me a little nervous because of course Willow would want to go with her and ... things would go downhill pretty fast. But yes, Tara could probably destroy it.

Faith: ohhh man, okay, I am pretty sure in the place of a Dark Lord we would have a queen.

[ladyjane]

OTOH, if Giles insisted buffy go with Tara, I think they'd make a pretty awesome team. She's not used to being the "sidekick" on missions, but she's all for doing what needs to be done. After all, it was Samwise who made it possible for Frodo to complete his quest. Hmmmm, now I'm seeing Buffy as a combination of Sam and Aragorn, the Protector of the Fellowship.

Faith... oh Faith, such a contradiction of emotions, BAMF, and fallen angel. (She'd make a great Lucifer on Supernatural.) I agree she wouldn't be able to resist the lure (allure? )of the ring. I see her heading to LA and teaming up with Lilah (alive or dead) to not only take over Wolfram & Hart, but stage a coup on the Senior Partners. They wouldn't know what hit them!

Faith/Lilah is my new anti-hero OTP, thanks to beer_good_foamy's On the Edge of No Escape.

[ladyjane]

*blushes furiously* I forgot to say thank you for playing with my idea. I'm an ungrateful wench. *hangs head in shame*