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on my authority
I laugh when I see some variant of "if you can guess my Yuletide fic before Saturday, I'll write you a ficlet!" around my flist. I laugh because if I did this I would owe everyone a ficlet. I wrote two other fics as well, you know! You could try guessing those! All I really want to write right now is reams of Narnia fic, though, so I suppose if you want ficlets about my Edmund Is Queer agenda, you could have a go at guessing.
This post is not really for that, though. It is in fact a Yuletide recs post!
BLACK BOOKS
The Three Stages of the Aeneid
In which Bernard becomes obsessed with the Harry Potter books. It's good fun, the voices are perfect, and there's the brief cameo of a Spaced character if you're into that sort of thing.
BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM
Five Times Jess & Jules Kissed In Public
What it says on the tin, plus lesbian jokes, Jess heartbroken over Joe, Jules offering to set her up with boys, and Jess going to Tony to talk things through. It's all natural and giddy and scary and wonderful. Every year I go through the Jess/Jules fic, hoping that this time it'll be the one that rings perfect and true and is going to become my head canon. And this fic is it.
CHRONICLES OF NARNIA/TAM LIN
Journey to Make, Horizon to Chase
Susan goes to Blackstock. The writing is some strange perfect blend of Lewis' and Dean's styles, and the mythological mashup is even better. Obviously I love every fic that does good and interesting things with Susan, and this one has become instantly dear to my heart. Oh, and it actually makes me ship Susan/Caspian a bit.
CALVIN AND HOBBES
At Lunchtime, In the Wilderness
Crossover with Where the Wild Things Are. Max can see Hobbes. This is short and sweet, and I am delighted for all three of them.
The Roommate of +10 Confusion
Crossover with Foxtrot. Jason and Calvin are college roommates. Calvin still has Hobbes, there are wacky adventures, and Jason tries to make a spreadsheet to quantify Calvin. This fic gives me a huge, stupid grin. Also, I sort of suspect that it's That Yuletide Story, you know, the one everyone adores because it is so quintessentially Yuletide.
This kid I once knew
This is so meta I can't even stand it. Calvin has a webcomic about Spaceman Spiff! The real joy of this fic, though, is in following grown-up Susie, who is awesome and lovable and has good fond memories of Calvin.
DISCWORLD
The Last Snowfall
Granny Weatherwax meets Death for the last time, and Granny makes her choice. This is, in every way, perfect.
Make Time
Vimes has a hobby, a new reporter at the Times is printing inaccurate articles, and Vetinari knows everything, as usual. This is just so delightfully happy-making; it feels as though it should go in some official collection of Discworld short stories.
DEMON'S LEXICON
The Demon's Price
In which Alan bakes pies, Nick tries to provide distractions and make conversation, and Mae and Jamie invent a game. This makes me glow with joy. It's quite possible that the world is in desperate need of more fluffy Lexicon fic like this one.
in from the cold
A little bridging fic between Lexicon and Covenant, in which Nick fails to really adjust, and my heart breaks for him and Alan yet again. This is full of gorgeous lines, and the scene with Liannan is excellent.
Taking the Trouble to Practice
This is exactly the Nick/Jamie fic I have been wanting! It's about tasty demon/magician power dynamics, but it's also about Jamie babbling and being ridiculous, and about Nick being Nick, and I kind of adore it.
Unnatural mother
Annabel Crawford, and the times she doesn't feel helpless. I think it cracked my heart a little, and the end gives me shivers.
HARK! A VAGRANT
A Cunning Plan
Watson wants to win back Holmes' affections, so he sends out an advertisement for "gay Holmes" and ends up with Brett!Holmes, RDJ!Holmes, and Cumberbatch!Holmes all in his waiting room. I laugh a lot, and would also read dozens of these.
I Am Acton Bell's Metaphorical Manhood
I would love this one for the title alone. But it also features the poor, long-suffering Anne Brontë, her melodramatic siblings, and delightful straight-from-the-comics dialogue. The last line is icing on the awesomecake.
Mystery Solving Teens and the Case of the College Application
A Treat for me! What it says on the tin; the Teens hang around an old, not-haunted attic, being delightful and blasé. It is all very Kate Beaton and hilarious.
The Squid Is A Metaphor
The squid that wants to be friends! Wednesday the cat! Pirates posting secrets all over their ship! The Captain and his obsession with his Nemesis! I love how this clearly takes place in the wacky Hark! A Vagrant world, and I adore all the pirates.
Well This Is Just Weird
The fic for me! Which features a multitude of Holmeses and Watsons. It is meta and funny and delightful and generally all I could ever want from a Beaton-inspired Holmesian tale.
LILO & STITCH
Awry Plans
David tries to take Nani on a date; Lilo and Stitch make a mess; David tells stories. What I love most about this one is that Nani was clearly the same sort of adorable hellion as Lilo when she was little, and the whole thing makes me beam with joy.
Mountains, Molehills
Breakfast at the Pelekai house: Lilo and Jumba want to meddle, David doesn't want to talk about marriage, Nani puts up threatening signs, and Stitch is adorably ominous. This fills my heart with fluffy love; it's a great little coda scene.
LOST GIRL
In Tequila Veritas
Four times Kenzi didn't drink alone, and one time she did. I love Kenzi's strange partnership with Trick, and the bad-then-good sex with Hale and how well they understand each other, and how much Kenzi's love for Bo shines through. This is such a great portrait of Kenzi, and I adore it.
The Thief, the Pook, His Strife, and Their Troubles
Kenzi hits on a phouka, Trick plays the put-upon bartender to perfection, and the background case involves Baba Yaga and a Koschei with a misplaced heart. Both Kenzi's inner monologue and outer dialogue are perfect, and I love her getting her own plotlines where Fae seek her out for her negotiating skills. I am only sad this fic is so short, because I would have kept reading it for ages, but I am still delighted that this wacky Kenzi-adventure exists.
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
On Howliday
Arnold turns into a werewolf. Ms. Frizzle and the class react to this exactly the way you'd expect them to. I laugh until I cry.
MULAN
Soldiers, Soldiering On
Missing scenes: in which Ping learns to swear, visits a brothel, and sews for the other men. I love how real this feels, and its attention to detail while still retaining the feel of the movie. Mulan is awesome, and the way she shines here is great.
MUPPET SHOW/DOCTOR WHO
It's the Muppet Doctor Who Special, With Our Very Own Special Guest Star, Matt Smith!
In which the Muppets send up Doctor Who. I imagine this is funnier the more Doctor Who canon/behind the scenes trivia you have, but I'm sure that even without it the Muppets would be as charming as always. Every single one of the Muppet Doctors is perfectly cast, and all of them made me laugh with delight, but it was probably Beaker as Ten that broke me. Everything's great, though: Animal the Dalek repeatedly crashing into the orchestra pit, the accidental burning of script pages, the overlong intermission after Eight, Sam the Eagle's insistence on playing an American character ... Basically, this is perfect and hilarious and I am so glad to have it in my life.
ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD
Yesterday Was Blue
I love all R&G Are Dead fic that makes me notice new things about the play, which this does beautifully, remixing scenes and layering meanings. Even better, this fic pinpoints the moment when the tragedy becomes irreversible (and of course, like in Hamlet, it's before the play begins) and has something like a happy ending.
SLINGS & ARROWS
Thou Knew'st Too Well My Heart Was to Thy Rudder Tied
Geoffrey is trying to figure out a scene for Antony and Cleopatra, Ellen discovers him a little tied up, and bondage sex ensues. This fic has so many lines that made me laugh, but even when I wasn't laughing I was smiling delightedly the whole way through. Geoffrey and Ellen are perfect: they're wonderful, slightly awful people, and they love each other so, and oh, my heart.
TINTIN
Abstinence
A coda to the last book: Haddock has to get used to not drinking, and Tintin's there to help. The voices are perfectly; Haddock is of course great, but Professor Calculus made me laugh just as usual, and Tintin was absolutely wonderful. I love how self-aware Haddock is, and it's a great little coda.
YOUNG WIZARDS
But There Is This
Tom reminisces about a dumb wizardly stunt he pulled as a teenager. It's a great little slice of life, a fun bit of backstory, and gives me a big happy smile.
Of Whales and Florists
Nita takes her dad to meet S'reee. The humor is great, especially concerning Nita's thoughts on Dairine, and the whole premise is incredibly charming. Plus Nita's dad and S'reee bond over gardening. Of course they do.
Metamorphose
Kit and Nita, after they decide to date. This fic is so perfectly teenaged, and full of awkwardness and uncertainty and a very Diane Duane-esque sort of sublime hope. This is exactly the sort of Kit/Nita story I want (and that I hope we'll actually see in future books).
This post is not really for that, though. It is in fact a Yuletide recs post!
BLACK BOOKS
The Three Stages of the Aeneid
In which Bernard becomes obsessed with the Harry Potter books. It's good fun, the voices are perfect, and there's the brief cameo of a Spaced character if you're into that sort of thing.
BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM
Five Times Jess & Jules Kissed In Public
What it says on the tin, plus lesbian jokes, Jess heartbroken over Joe, Jules offering to set her up with boys, and Jess going to Tony to talk things through. It's all natural and giddy and scary and wonderful. Every year I go through the Jess/Jules fic, hoping that this time it'll be the one that rings perfect and true and is going to become my head canon. And this fic is it.
CHRONICLES OF NARNIA/TAM LIN
Journey to Make, Horizon to Chase
Susan goes to Blackstock. The writing is some strange perfect blend of Lewis' and Dean's styles, and the mythological mashup is even better. Obviously I love every fic that does good and interesting things with Susan, and this one has become instantly dear to my heart. Oh, and it actually makes me ship Susan/Caspian a bit.
CALVIN AND HOBBES
At Lunchtime, In the Wilderness
Crossover with Where the Wild Things Are. Max can see Hobbes. This is short and sweet, and I am delighted for all three of them.
The Roommate of +10 Confusion
Crossover with Foxtrot. Jason and Calvin are college roommates. Calvin still has Hobbes, there are wacky adventures, and Jason tries to make a spreadsheet to quantify Calvin. This fic gives me a huge, stupid grin. Also, I sort of suspect that it's That Yuletide Story, you know, the one everyone adores because it is so quintessentially Yuletide.
This kid I once knew
This is so meta I can't even stand it. Calvin has a webcomic about Spaceman Spiff! The real joy of this fic, though, is in following grown-up Susie, who is awesome and lovable and has good fond memories of Calvin.
DISCWORLD
The Last Snowfall
Granny Weatherwax meets Death for the last time, and Granny makes her choice. This is, in every way, perfect.
Make Time
Vimes has a hobby, a new reporter at the Times is printing inaccurate articles, and Vetinari knows everything, as usual. This is just so delightfully happy-making; it feels as though it should go in some official collection of Discworld short stories.
DEMON'S LEXICON
The Demon's Price
In which Alan bakes pies, Nick tries to provide distractions and make conversation, and Mae and Jamie invent a game. This makes me glow with joy. It's quite possible that the world is in desperate need of more fluffy Lexicon fic like this one.
in from the cold
A little bridging fic between Lexicon and Covenant, in which Nick fails to really adjust, and my heart breaks for him and Alan yet again. This is full of gorgeous lines, and the scene with Liannan is excellent.
Taking the Trouble to Practice
This is exactly the Nick/Jamie fic I have been wanting! It's about tasty demon/magician power dynamics, but it's also about Jamie babbling and being ridiculous, and about Nick being Nick, and I kind of adore it.
Unnatural mother
Annabel Crawford, and the times she doesn't feel helpless. I think it cracked my heart a little, and the end gives me shivers.
HARK! A VAGRANT
A Cunning Plan
Watson wants to win back Holmes' affections, so he sends out an advertisement for "gay Holmes" and ends up with Brett!Holmes, RDJ!Holmes, and Cumberbatch!Holmes all in his waiting room. I laugh a lot, and would also read dozens of these.
I Am Acton Bell's Metaphorical Manhood
I would love this one for the title alone. But it also features the poor, long-suffering Anne Brontë, her melodramatic siblings, and delightful straight-from-the-comics dialogue. The last line is icing on the awesomecake.
Mystery Solving Teens and the Case of the College Application
A Treat for me! What it says on the tin; the Teens hang around an old, not-haunted attic, being delightful and blasé. It is all very Kate Beaton and hilarious.
The Squid Is A Metaphor
The squid that wants to be friends! Wednesday the cat! Pirates posting secrets all over their ship! The Captain and his obsession with his Nemesis! I love how this clearly takes place in the wacky Hark! A Vagrant world, and I adore all the pirates.
Well This Is Just Weird
The fic for me! Which features a multitude of Holmeses and Watsons. It is meta and funny and delightful and generally all I could ever want from a Beaton-inspired Holmesian tale.
LILO & STITCH
Awry Plans
David tries to take Nani on a date; Lilo and Stitch make a mess; David tells stories. What I love most about this one is that Nani was clearly the same sort of adorable hellion as Lilo when she was little, and the whole thing makes me beam with joy.
Mountains, Molehills
Breakfast at the Pelekai house: Lilo and Jumba want to meddle, David doesn't want to talk about marriage, Nani puts up threatening signs, and Stitch is adorably ominous. This fills my heart with fluffy love; it's a great little coda scene.
LOST GIRL
In Tequila Veritas
Four times Kenzi didn't drink alone, and one time she did. I love Kenzi's strange partnership with Trick, and the bad-then-good sex with Hale and how well they understand each other, and how much Kenzi's love for Bo shines through. This is such a great portrait of Kenzi, and I adore it.
The Thief, the Pook, His Strife, and Their Troubles
Kenzi hits on a phouka, Trick plays the put-upon bartender to perfection, and the background case involves Baba Yaga and a Koschei with a misplaced heart. Both Kenzi's inner monologue and outer dialogue are perfect, and I love her getting her own plotlines where Fae seek her out for her negotiating skills. I am only sad this fic is so short, because I would have kept reading it for ages, but I am still delighted that this wacky Kenzi-adventure exists.
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
On Howliday
Arnold turns into a werewolf. Ms. Frizzle and the class react to this exactly the way you'd expect them to. I laugh until I cry.
MULAN
Soldiers, Soldiering On
Missing scenes: in which Ping learns to swear, visits a brothel, and sews for the other men. I love how real this feels, and its attention to detail while still retaining the feel of the movie. Mulan is awesome, and the way she shines here is great.
MUPPET SHOW/DOCTOR WHO
It's the Muppet Doctor Who Special, With Our Very Own Special Guest Star, Matt Smith!
In which the Muppets send up Doctor Who. I imagine this is funnier the more Doctor Who canon/behind the scenes trivia you have, but I'm sure that even without it the Muppets would be as charming as always. Every single one of the Muppet Doctors is perfectly cast, and all of them made me laugh with delight, but it was probably Beaker as Ten that broke me. Everything's great, though: Animal the Dalek repeatedly crashing into the orchestra pit, the accidental burning of script pages, the overlong intermission after Eight, Sam the Eagle's insistence on playing an American character ... Basically, this is perfect and hilarious and I am so glad to have it in my life.
ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD
Yesterday Was Blue
I love all R&G Are Dead fic that makes me notice new things about the play, which this does beautifully, remixing scenes and layering meanings. Even better, this fic pinpoints the moment when the tragedy becomes irreversible (and of course, like in Hamlet, it's before the play begins) and has something like a happy ending.
SLINGS & ARROWS
Thou Knew'st Too Well My Heart Was to Thy Rudder Tied
Geoffrey is trying to figure out a scene for Antony and Cleopatra, Ellen discovers him a little tied up, and bondage sex ensues. This fic has so many lines that made me laugh, but even when I wasn't laughing I was smiling delightedly the whole way through. Geoffrey and Ellen are perfect: they're wonderful, slightly awful people, and they love each other so, and oh, my heart.
TINTIN
Abstinence
A coda to the last book: Haddock has to get used to not drinking, and Tintin's there to help. The voices are perfectly; Haddock is of course great, but Professor Calculus made me laugh just as usual, and Tintin was absolutely wonderful. I love how self-aware Haddock is, and it's a great little coda.
YOUNG WIZARDS
But There Is This
Tom reminisces about a dumb wizardly stunt he pulled as a teenager. It's a great little slice of life, a fun bit of backstory, and gives me a big happy smile.
Of Whales and Florists
Nita takes her dad to meet S'reee. The humor is great, especially concerning Nita's thoughts on Dairine, and the whole premise is incredibly charming. Plus Nita's dad and S'reee bond over gardening. Of course they do.
Metamorphose
Kit and Nita, after they decide to date. This fic is so perfectly teenaged, and full of awkwardness and uncertainty and a very Diane Duane-esque sort of sublime hope. This is exactly the sort of Kit/Nita story I want (and that I hope we'll actually see in future books).