aria: ([misc] cocoa)
valinor spider party ([personal profile] aria) wrote2013-01-25 12:11 pm

the barista au

Today I was ringing up a woman who gave her name as Annie. "Like the little orphan, I guess," this Annie said. "Actually," said I, "I associate that name with the character on Community; have you seen it?" She was familiar, she said, but only because her roommate watched it, so I explained a bit about Annie Edison, with great enthusiasm, while I got her change. "Okay, sold," Annie said. "I'll totally check it out." VICTORY!

Unrelated to Annie, a protip: if you don't deign to get off your fucking phone whilst ordering coffee, your barista may be smiling, but they will probably also be harboring warm fuzzy thoughts of totally murdering you right in the face.

I don't ... actually spend a lot of time at work imagining barista AUs, but the Avengers one would be so easy. Like, Nick Fury owns the coffee shop, obviously; I don't know what the coffee shop is called, because I can't think of any coffee-related puns with the word "shield" in them. Whatever. Coulson and Hill and Natasha run shifts; Clint has been there longer than Tasha, and got her hired, and watched starry-eyed while she got promoted, and may or may not be dating her. The other baristas are Steve, art student; Bruce, PhD student who works weekends; Janet, who hates the part where she has to get coffee for her asshole ex-boyfriend Hank every morning; Loki, who got Frigga in the high school divorce and needs this job to pay for college; and Thor, who got Odin in the divorce and could totally be a junior partner at dad's company but is rebelling in what Loki thinks is the most irritating way possible by working at the same stupid coffee shop. Tony, obviously, is that one regular who flirts with absolutely everyone (especially Natasha and Bruce) despite the fact that Pepper meets him there half the time. And I guess this coffee shop is near a school with a good science program, because Jane is obviously also there, and has recently become a regular in order to stare at Thor more frequently. (Darcy endorses this.) Uh so probs Reed Richards uses it as his local too, and ... probably the X-Men are around too; Charles and Erik play chess in the back room every day. And I'm going to stop now! But this AU would be SO EASY, whee.

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